Despite the best efforts of certain annoying people you may be pleased to know that I have not killed myself. My only wish is that if anyone who was reading my blog and in a similar situation did not allow a certain persons comments affect their life to any great degree. I would hate to be Pete knowing that he may have driven some poor soul to suicide due to his obvious dislike for me.

Anyway moving on, in spite of my apparent genetic failings, my new job finds me in a world of equipment that equates to a computer for a caveman(just getting my head around it now). It, unfortunately, removes me from my former role of street policing (on my own for the most) one of the gun crime capitals of the UK.

I increasingly find myself removed from day to day policing which I thought I would never do. I find myself in an insular world where we can provide so much help to officers on the ground but not actually get involved.

In light of this I now find myself in a position of not being able to provide any material worthy of blogging about. I could tell you about suspect searches and vehicle pursuits but the actual feelings and emotions of being on the ground just aren't there anymore.

I will still be around and available on e-mail but unless something dramatic happens I won't be posting anymore.

Thank you for your comments, it makes me realise just how rewarding an open forum can be. I will continue to read other blogs and comment when I feel it necessary.

Incase anyone feels a certain sense of glee and achievement over this I would like them to remember that if a government witch hunt last year couldn't put me off there is no way that someone with the DNA of a dried up mouse poo ever could. I simply feel that the police who are still there 24/7, on the streets, have better material than me.

Regards.

Male domestic violence

This may be my last post but I cannot confirm this at this time.

It is quite strange being empowered by the Queen to use various powers and procedures to achieve your role but at the same time enduring situations at home which you would not allow whilst on duty.

For those who have not guessed I am currently going slowly through the process of divorce. I have 2 daughters who I see what could best be described as infrequently but do get to speak to twice a week (they are approx 140 miles away now).

It is strange that you all too often get sent to deal with domestic disputes that involve...... well really nothing at all. He drank x amount and told me to do this or just the general situation where the 2 mutants you are dealing with lack the social skills to be able to deal with the everyday demands of normal life. Strange that you then go home to an environment where you find yourself in a similar position. I am not calling myself or my ex wife a mutant by the way.

How many times have you stood on the front doorstep with the key in your hand wondering what was going to greet you when you opened the door? All this after a 10 hour shift dealing with the great unwashed and their problems.
It is strange to walk into the house to find that the person you rely upon most heavily has done nothing but spend all her time on face book/bebo/twitter or any other communal website that you can think of. Especially when you learn that this person has been planning to leave you for some time and actually set up a date with someone on their Open University course in Blackpool. Someone has dared to post an unpleasant comment about your partner and all of a sudden you come home from a world of shit into another world of shit. In this job there is a popular saying which goes something along the lines of if home life is shit but work is good you can cope. If home life is good and work is shit you can cope as well. If both are shit well you are well F$*cked. It is true.

I will make no pretence of being perfect. I am probably the furthest example from perfect you could find. I used to drink too much (strangely enough don’t anymore), I smoke and used to long for time on my own without wife/kids demanding attention at midnight hence late night or early morning comments on various blogs.
I won’t go into the details about my relationship other than the walls bear numerous scars from temper fuelled outbursts from my former wife, I carry scars that would have (if officially crimed) led to her being placed through the courts. Coming home from nights at 7 A.M and having to wait up to get the kids to school or fed so that my “wife” could have a lie in (even when the kids had been asleep since 8 pm).....please. At the end of the day my oldest daughter (9) now has a secret message that allows me to tell if it is her or my ex who is texting me. No doubt that will go out the window shortly.
It is strange how people’s perspectives and attitudes change. Despite admitting that she was an abuser, now that she has moved away she now deems it necessary to find an alternative reason for the breakdown of our marriage. As per a late comment on my last post I am now accused of being adulterous. I wish, I am 40, fat and balding.
At the end of the day as a Police Officer I am willing to admit that I was subjected to domestic violence. I put up with it because I loved the person but one Thursday morning at about 8 A.M. whilst being attacked I nearly struck back. That was when I realised the end had come. No-one should be in an abusive relationship whether you are male or female. To be told after 13 years of marriage and 15 years of being with this person that they have been looking for an excuse to leave you is totally devastating. I would like to make it clear that the behaviour has totally turned off any feelings that I had and all I feel now is scorn and dislike.

The abusers always make up lies to cover their actions.

If this applies to any other male/female accept that it can happen to you. You allow it to because of love but is it really what you want?

This post is totally anonymous I hope, if it comes back to bite me in a court I will stand my ground. Suffice to say that I am no longer on the ground whilst in work.

All in all I will say that happiness after everything does come from the most unexpected places. Thank you, you know who you are.

Regards.

Why do I work again?

At this current moment in time I find myself shelving out huge sums of money to a solicitor to act on my behalf. (A civil matter not a criminal one by the way). Why?

If I changed uniform to a tracksuit or simply couldn't be bothered getting off Facebook or Bebo or whatever social network group that the state pays you money for Internet access, I would not have to pay such extortionate fees. Maybe I should get out of work and see where life takes me, perhaps not eh?

I see many such people who are "entitled" to free legal advice. Admittedly the system has been supposedly streamlined or "fast tracked" over the last few years but why do the life sucking dross that are the mainstay of many solicitors get it all for nothing?

I have worked solidly since I was 18. If I had remained in the RAF I would have retired on November 25th after 22 years service. Instead, I find myself with mounting legal costs and no easy way out.

Think into this what you will but a number of you will guess what it means.


Regards.

Life's changes.

I am still here in the background.

There have been dramatic changes in my life which are not something to air on the public forum.

Business shall be resumed once I can drag myself out of the doldrums.

Regards.

Oh my god!

For those of you that know me you will be aware that I have been going through an application process.

I found out today that after 5 months of selection processes I am unfortunatley suitable for the job.

I bloody well passed and am now looking forward to serious pastures new. Still a police officer but ............ providing I pass the course, not a real one anymore.

Thanks for all you messages of support.

Three weeks in.

The travesty of justice has officially been on the streets of Notgreatside for the last 3 weeks. I am a common or garden response officer and I have been out on the streets with a taser for that time.
It is a pain in the arse. Firstly they issued us with different belts to ensure that they couldn't be removed by offenders easily. Now depending on where I buy my clothes from I am either a 34 or 36 inch waist. I thought 36" just to be safe. Not sure who makes the belts but they obviously have different scales on their tape measures than the rest of us. Very last hole and that is a squeeze sometimes, no more fatty foods for me and no they can't issue me with another one yet as they have been specially ordered.
There is the rigmarole of being issued with a yellow piece of plastic and 3 cartridges, I handled firearms for 11 years whilst in the forces and am intimately familiar with load and unload drills and actually using weapons. I don't need someone who has never handled a weapon to tell me what to do. Weapon safety is drilled into me and has been since 1987. It is also a pain when you finish late not to have a duly "authorised" sergeant around to "unload" the taser, I have incurred overtime waiting to hand the bloody thing back!
It gets in the way when you get in the car, right where the seatbelt needs to go, just another piece of kit to fill my already full belt.

Does it work though........oh bloody hell yes. The scrotes notice it immediately, they are well used to the police and all the stuff normally carried. They pick up immediately on the bright yellow piece of plastic and not surprisingly ask "is that real". My stock answer is no it's a dummy just like you are for asking the question. I have only drawn it on one occassion and "red dotted" someone. It worked instantly stopping him in his tracks and avoiding yet another cocaine and alcohol fuelled fight which would have surely ensued. Incidentally, why do families always fight and argue at christenings, weddings etc?

In short and from an officer who is using one whilst not being part of a specialized team. It is a pain, more kit, procedure and writing. It has already in my experience stopped a situation dead in it's tracks and prevented a prolonged struggle. It is a deterrent and also a statement of purpose. It hasn't changed the way I work, my mouth is still my biggest tool and long may it remain so. What it does is provide another avenue of non-verbal communication which in my still limited experience has proved effective.

To all the people protesting against human rights issues what would you prefer? A subject who has momentarily been in fear of being tasered and calming down and not being injured or the police actually using force against him to achieve their aim and him suffering injuries. It is a double edged sword but it is helping in a small way to gain some sort of control in the area where I work.

I await the criticism.

Incidentally have completed all the stages for my application and am now on tenterhooks awaiting the outcome of the final interview.

Still here.

I am still here, thank you for your questions and concern but just seem to have bigger things on my mind at the mo'.

Regards.