Tuesday, 10 February 2009

How bizarre.

Despite my dread and prophecies of doom the full moon didn't work out as bad as I thought. I would even go so far as to describe it as Q (uiet). Couple of domestics no forms filled in as per first post and eventually neighbours all falling out to the extent that one of them decided to throw a jar of PICKLE at one of them and missed. Unfortunately he put in through a car window instead. Loads of gloating witnesses who will never turn up for court. They all ended their statements with "I am not willing to attend court over this matter". In this day and age how little do they know?

I have had the misfortune to meet this individual previously when he headbutted his pregnant girlfriend when the electricity ran out. He was watching his favourite programme at the time though! There was a twist to the tail as I couldn't work out who was who in the pregnancy stakes when I first arrived as there were two pregnant girls there. They were both sisters and guess who was the father of both. That's just wrong! I promise I am not making this up, talk about a misguided sexual experience. I eventually elected the one with the slightly swollen bottom lip as the "victim".

Anyway, last night, he gets locked up and off we go. He is as good as gold all the way through and remarkably is not drunk. Bummer, I am going to have to interview him and sort this one out without being able to leave it for mornings. He coughs to the offence in interview and actually apologises for it happening. Reckless is explained to him and he admits that the criminal damage was caused by his recklessness. Thankfully as he has coughed it there is no need for CPS "advice" and the custody sergeant is quite happy to charge him. Phew!

With waiting times in the holding cell, getting statements, interviews and the rest it still took 3 1/2 hours to process him and I emerge back on the streets at about 04:30 to a city that looks like a plague has struck during those 3 hours. There is really no-one about. I aimlessly waste petrol until 06:45 and then head back into the station to go off duty.

That was not the night I expected. Must be the credit crunch affecting benefits, you know less disposable cash.


Annette said...

I was going to ask you how it went!
Glad it was alright.

Noddy said...

Were they twins?

Constable Confused.com said...

Noddy, stop it.

Please put away any such fantasies. I assure you that this did not apply in this case. They weren't exactly how shall I put it delicately, pleasing to the eye.

The younger one was actually the one who was in the latter stages.

Incidentally he is still with the one he assaulted and she was there in full voice last night.