Thursday, 30 April 2009

The new broom.

Here we are again, the dump that is classed as ECHO 2/3 in my area has just got a new Chief Inspector. Fair does, following my last post he actually came on parade with us. I now know who my Chief Inspector is. I feel so relieved. He assured us that he was operational through and through and was not just filling his portfolio for his next promotion. Fair enough I thought, give him a chance BUT then the government inspired drivel couldn't help but come out. Compliance with victim......blueprint.....pledge etc all blurted out and it all went wrong. He lost all credibility. He asked who was a driver, looked at the states and said he was going to go on patrol with Con 9999. The officer in question was suitably underwhelmed.

Guess what, despite his promises he didn't go out. He has only been here a week and in all fairness has been on parade with all 5 blocks. He is vocal, dismissive and very self righteous. All I know is that I was begging and stealing from other areas to get cars to go out in. We do tend to break ours around here! Well we don't the offenders do. Come 5 PM he was out the door and did actually say hello to me. I then stopped him on the ramp to the car park and asked him lots. I said I wouldn't embarrass him in front of the block but asked him what he was going to do to change things. There is so much that needs changing and here was his chance to do it.
I am 39 coming on 40 and he is only a few years older than me. He then said that he couldn't do my job nor could most people above the rank of Sergeant. He also stated that despite response being the shitty end of the stick we were the general view of the police that most people held.

In light of my last post I felt somewhat justified in doing it. It however nailed just another another nail in the coffin of my belief that we are not even considered in the depths of the "Policing Pledge" we will just always be there to be abused by cancelled rest days and various other events that need arsing about.

I do report with not a little excitement that I do have several irons in the fire and come the end of May, I will have some respite. The longer term requires lots of typing.

Monday, 27 April 2009


I sit at home and sometimes, you can’t help it, ponder the events of the day.

I frequently attend incidents where the “bigger picture” has to be viewed. I am talking about scenes, prisoner watches at hospitals and the inevitable constant obs at police jails. All of these things are considered. I arrive at a job, there is clearly a scene and it needs to be preserved. If the offender is arrested it is worthwhile otherwise all you are recovering is frequently the blood of the “victim” (note adherence to the victim charter there). However there is a gut wrenching, sphincter snapping clap that echoes throughout Notgreatside at every occasion where somebody is even slightly hurt.Common sense does never prevail therefore and the echo of the sphincter results in a scene etc. How many rolls of scene tape we must go through actually scares me. Incidentally when a scene is taped off and there is an officer stood preventing people access how many people come up and ask if it OK for them to walk through it or just ignore it altogether? “Can I just walk through as I need to go to the offy?” Errm No! They still ask though. Would I put tape round that says “POLICE CRIME SCENE DO NOT ENTER” if it was ok to walk through?

Anyway after numerous stints of acting despite never even sitting the exam never mind passing it. I now find myself in the position of having supervision who have less time in than me or have been so far removed from front line policing they are a bloody liability! They have obviously read the books and passed the exam, they are still at the T/Sgt stage and still haven’t a clue about anything. One of them can’t work past x o’clock in the morning due to sleep problems. I sometimes struggle to sleep on nights but don’t complain, why is he a Sgt on a 24/7 response block? The other one, well, is generally never there due to courses but is quite effective when in work. In other words the burden frequently falls on my shoulders.

In my former life in the RAF I was promoted to the rank of Sgt and after passing what was called General Service Training courses on two occasions, four weeks in the classroom/field (one to Corporal then the next to Sgt) I actually learned how to lead/look after staff. Welfare, food, drink and toilet breaks are essential. They are not just to be accommodated when convenient. To the best of my knowledge I never had to order anyone to do a menial task, there was always a request and due to the fact I would also do the rubbish jobs when required my staff just did it. There were frequent instances where I had to just ask people to do jobs and they would. If my shift heard me say this or that needs doing NOW I wouldn’t have to order anyone they would just do it I would not do it unless necessary. End result the job got done and people had respect for the rank because:

a) you had earned it and got the t-shirt.

b) you treated them properly.

Moving on a decade or so and I find myself in another uniformed role which is supposedly disciplined.However there is a distinct lack of leadership. From a purely personal point of view being deposited at a crime scene at 23:00 and not being relieved until well past 07:00 is not acceptable. Never mind the weather or the availability of facilities this is clearly not right. (Haven't done that for years but still remember). I would even push it to possibly be a contravention of yooman rights but will stand corrected on that one. When I wear the mantle I always remember try to remember the fundamentals of it. While we lucky ones who get to whizz around in fast cars frequently never get a break it is significantly better than standing on a cold wet scene with nowhere to have a pee! Frequently in the full view of the press and numerous other members of the public. This ignominious role frequently falls to the junior officers on the block. I did it but thankfully with Sergeants who gave a toss. There was always a break for a brew and another one for your scoff. I try to follow their example. That was not that long ago, only 9 years. Those people have either moved on or retired. The sorry replacements are not up to the job or just don’t care. I know from my own experience that once a commitment is covered then the welfare of the staff doing it takes second place despite my urgings. On numerous occasions I have taken flasks of hot water and maxpax out to scenes etc when I have pointed out the requirement to my “superiors”. I wonder why so many student officers are leaving before their 2 years is up. These same people are scared of making decisions and as such will always take the “cover your arse” position instead of following the advice of an experienced officer or frequently, the position dictated by common sense. It really concerns me that these people are responsible for so much. It really isn’t hard to put yourself in the position of someone dying for a pee being surrounded by Sky Poos reporters and cameramen doing the “really need a pee/poo dance”. For heaven's sake one female student officer ended up in hospital with a severe kidney infection due to holding her bladder for 10 hours. Why can I see the basic needs and do my utmost to accomodate these whereas those with stripes can't. I point out with apologies that I.G. and other supervisors who post probably do give a stuff which is why their staff get on with the job. These people obviously have common sense whereas a lot of supervisors just complete the advisory staff management course, take no notice of it and get on with their next promotion. How that differs from my man management training.

I could go on for ever pointing out the failings of supervision, the lack of balls oops, courage for the diverse, the futile allocation of insolvable crime reports, the basic requirements of staff as highlighted above and above all else the absence of leadership. This goes beyond immediate supervisors right to the top echelons of “management”. When will the government realise that the police is not a business and does not need managers, what it needs are some leaders who will enforce the laws and policies that direct their staff and not worry about this. Perhaps that way we can just get on with the job whilst still being held accountable, and not be the excuse for the political clusterfucks that we are now.

This post comes from despair about what we are becoming and also from hearing the results about who has passed the OSPRE exam and who hasn't. 22 year old just, and he has passed? How is he going to lead?

I haven't got the spare time at home to study at the moment hence the reason I am not one of the happy or sad candidates.

Friday, 24 April 2009


This was meant to be a comment on WPC Bloggs blog but it developed. It was meant to be a reply to MTG.

I don't normally counter his comments but on this occasion he riled me. I am not nor ever will be your servant. I swore an oath to the Queen upon my appointment, she is the only person who I am sworn to serve. Please read the oath of attestation if you don't believe me.

The nonsense about me being a servant to the public is a fallacy contrived by successive parliaments to try to appease society. If I am the servant of the people how do I then become able to arrest people who abuse/assault me when there are no other persons around? Who am I serving then? I am a servant of the Queen.

Please don't get me wrong if someone needs help from me I will do my best to do that. Not because I am a servant to the people but it is my sworn duty to do so, a role which I still choose to do.
I thought I would never mention it again but G20 has aroused all sorts of nonsense that has people believing the spin, claiming brutality etc, etc, you know what I am talking about as will other readers. Please get over it, officers (who were acting in accordance with the oath they swore) will suffer the consequences (heaven help them in this day and age), nothing else will change in practice. Lip service will be paid to whatever nonsense that is changed and the rest of us will continue to do the job we know how to do. They were fulfilling their oath, the peace clearly wasn’t being kept. Government may have changed but the principles haven’t.

Just out of interest, non police who comment frequently, if I were to hand you my equipment and a stuffed bag full of forms. Included in this package would be the keys to a powerful car that you would be expected to cut your way through traffic in order to serve your oath to the Queen to assist someone who has dialled 999. All the time you would be constantly receiving updates as well as trying not to crash. Your adrenaline would be flowing from the auditory inputs coupled with the hazards you encounter on the road. The end result, you arrive at the job with all senses sharply charged and keenly attuned. Once there you either: fight, stop people from fighting or decide that the 78 year old male/female who has just had some scrote burst into their house and really needs some sort of reassurance which is willingly given and beyond. Of course there is the other 90% of calls from the socially disfunctional who know that they get their wages every other Thursday and fight in between. Could you differentiate what is real or not? Before you criticize could you do it? Thought not.

This would be the same psychological state that the officers in London would be under, a pushing, abusive and potentially violent crowd. You only have to see one of the videos of a serial of officers being crowded against a wall by an overwhelming mass of people. Is striking a few of them to regain the streets wrong? I will leave it up to you to decide.

This is not a personal attack on anyone but merely a grounded response to people who will openly criticize without the full understanding. I have never to the best of my knowledge acted impartially or unfairly to anyone. I do have opinions and views, I am only human BUT they never get in the way with work.

People stop thinking that we are your servants, we will willingly help you but we can also be your scourge. Government don’t like the scourge side but where I work if you need robust policing you will be at the end of it, no excuses from me. This is widely appreciated from the unspoken majority of my area and no doubt the effect is countrywide. Though I can’t speak with any authority on this.

The end of this post is merely to highlight that we are all human. We are all affected by emotions and situations and react accordingly. The only difference is police officers do know when to stop where as a portion of the public don’t, you never saw an officer going back to give a farewell kick, push, baton strike or stamp to any of the protesters and by the way we do get frightened as well at times, we are only human. Self preservation still exists in us.. I have been inundated with e-mails showing alleged police brutality at the dreaded events in London. What I have seen from my point of view is officers dealing with situations as they seem appropriate, no-one else knows the thought processes going through these officer’s heads. They would have been considered but apparently aren’t acceptable. Read earlier about adrenaline and auditory inputs, oh not forgetting a non-compliant mass of people in front of you.

Anyway I shall never mention London events again and hope that all police bloggers will do the same. In all effects the arse has been kicked out of it and it is now boring.

Dr Melvin T Gray I do not wish to offend you and this is not a personal attack on you, oh my eight year old has just showed me a top hat she made from silly foam, must go and be a dad again.

Revolt in the ranks.

Apparently PC Plum is leaving the much loved Balamory.

I have yet to have this confirmed immediately but the rumour is that PC Plum is about to leave Balamory in order to further his career. I have heard that he has applied for a wildlife officers post in the Western Isles.

My first thought was Noddy as he is already well versed in the law that does not involve PACE. I searched the interweb but could find no vacancies for Balamory Police.

My research was highlighted to the afternoon shift that was shortly about to go off duty as well as my shift that started nights yesterday at 21:00 hours.

The end result was there were approximately 15 reports through supervision expressing interest in the soon to be vacated role. Mine was included and though it would tear my heart to leave Notgreatside if Plummy's role became available, I would snap it up.

Not too sure how I would feel patrolling the area on my bike without my baton, he never seems to wear one but he is obviously very comfortable in his own abilities. I'm sure Archie could invent a non- threatening one that would only become apparent when the situation developed. Maybe when Josie Jump decided to jump on Miss Hoolie's head for never changing her clothes, or does my current location see the worst in people.

Anyway if I am successful I am sure that I will be happy following my new training in identifying flowers and birds, oh and having to deal with lost people and hedgehogs. I look forward to going round this island more than once or twice.

Pinkstone eat your heart out if I get it!

Thursday, 23 April 2009

A future bank holiday?

No probably not. Despite today being St Georges day it will be another tradition frowned upon in our multi-cultural society. It used to be the stiff upper lip that didn't recognise it, these days it's the quivering sphincter of political correctness that prevents it.

Oh well never mind, just hope I don't upset anyone with this post, if I do there is a little red cross in the top right side of your screen. Click on it and it will seem like it never happened.


Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Ranting again!

More ranting,

bandwagon and jumping and stuff!

Fed up, with it all and wish that .........oh I can't tell you as I will then be deemed as not being politically correct. For Fucks sake, when people want robust action it isn't forthcoming due to yooman rights and stuff.

When robust stuff is required all of a sudden the musical feature is wheeled out.

Did you know managers in Mcdonalds get about £25 K a year.

Again, no picture can't be arsed, does anyone know the recruitment number for maccy d's. Too much politics in my job now, gonna get even worse soon. Ah well off to bed, only finished an hour and a half late today.

Just clicked further on the Sky poos website and I am frankly at a loss for words.............except fuck the lot of them. Don't get in a heated situation if you don't like fire.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Now the potential for even more nonsense.

My apologies for the link firstly, Sky have changed the headline since I posted this.

I was not at G20, I am not currently under investigation (that I know of) and do feel for the family of Ian Tomlinson who unexpectedly died during the protests. I also feel for the officers under "investigation" by the press and the IPCC at this time. I hope I never fall foul but in this day and age it is all too easy.

I do however feel quite strongly about THIS

Get out, keep your ill informed noses out and leave the INDEPENDENT Police Complaints Commission to do their job. You appointed them now get on with it. For readers who don't know, no-one in the IPCC has any affiliation to the police thereby unbiased and impartial supposedly dealing only in facts.

I don't normally swear but it's the fucking idiots in parliament who the populace have voted for over the years who have in effect screwed this country up. I went to the local newsagent on the way home. He is of Indian descent and has lived and worked in the UK for 35 years. He was reading a headline and asked me where the country was going to end up. I told him honestly that I didn't know. Society is ruined, we certainly don't need a bunch of tossers in Westminster attempting,in their ignorance to diagnose what went wrong. You did you knob heads, and your predecessors by allowing this once great country to degenerate into the melting pot it is now. Other countries deal with the Human Rights issue and still maintain Law and Order. What is it you thick,isolated numskull's can't get into your heads to allow this country to do the same?

Sorry for the rant, fed up of people who know nothing demanding everything. No picture this time, too annoyed.

Saturday, 18 April 2009


As mentioned before I am tutoring again. Bloody hell!

Here it all starts again, someone who apparently is "ready to go" and just needs pointing in the right direction then they will be "off". What a load of hoop.

I have been with him for just under 2 weeks and it is apparent that the new localised system of police training is woefully inadequate. I remember when I went through a joint training establishment in the North of England that it was disciplined, parade every morning at 08:30 and then more or less continuous lessons or PT until 17:00. There was lots of partying but overall it was bloody hard work.

Run forwards 9 years and I am now teaching people what I supposedly know. The trouble is I actually learned what the law meant. As mentioned before I spent 15 weeks solidly learning. Speaking to my new colleagues it appears that out of their 15 weeks they seem to spend most of their time waiting for another lesson. They are farmed off to various other elements of Notgreatside police in order for them to learn in the "field". I can categorically state that it doesn't work.

I got to know my latest and asked him what he did in his previous life. He told me his story and what he had done before police school. He had a good job and lost several thousands pounds of income by joining the police. He is absolutely keen as mustard and busily types car registrations into the mobile computer in order to stop cars that may have markers on them. I can't fault him in anyway whatsoever except......his knowledge of the law. It is rubbish! I am sure it isn't his fault but the systems.

We were directed by the overseeing eyes on the city to a car that apparently had a disqualified driver. We duly stop the car and speak to the driver, he gives a name different to the one that we are expecting. My fresh colleague asks if he has any ID on him and the answer is negative. Ah well he is free to go according to my colleague. No stop, says the grizzled one, have you checked him out on PNC. I knew he hadn't and so follows the check. The name comes back as not disqualified and no wanted/missing markers. I sense something is not right and question the subject further, I ask for marks and scars and they don't match. I ask my student to caution him and he has to get his notebook out and read it verbatim. Bloody hell the caution was drummed into us at school. The offence, obstructing a police officer in the lawful execution of his duty. He looks at me blankly. The subject then decides to run and goes for it. My protege racks his baton and throws it at his legs and ......misses. TJ Hooker would have been proud! Any way put out the foot pursuit over airwaves and am re-assured that there are units nearby who will be able to assist. We are running now and I am starting to flag after about half a mile the whippet is still going strong. Oh bugger must try harder thinks me and overtakes him (I was made up!) Go round a corner and see other officers there with CS drawn, I then do a rapid turn and stop. The offender raises his arms and tries to strike the 2 with CS and the end is inevitable. A cloud of spray on a hot afternoon settling on warm, moist skin. Thankfully not mine. My ward has come charging round the corner in full flight and not being wise has also been subject to a good dosing. The driver eventually admits to being the one who is disqualified and is arrested purportedly by my colleague who is too busy coughing and spewing on the ground (he did have his mouth open and took a burst straight in the gob). Suitable aftercare is administered to both the offender and my colleague and at the end of the day job done.

This encounter reminded me of several things. When I first took to the streets I was well aware of the law but actually knew nothing. I was forewarned of the evils of CS and how to avoid it. The caution can be used as a tool because many people hear it and instantly believe that they are under arrest, they then admit to offences because they have heard it on the Bill and think they are under arrest. Many won't but it is probably 50/50. Well probably 90/10 where I work but it is always worth a try.

Anyway where was I? Yes I vaguely remember talking about the woes of not having a proper training school and stuff. The students coming through are scared of laying hands on people and subsequently people get away with all sorts of stuff they shouldn't. You hear in the media of people getting arrested for protecting their own property. Whereas my generation will do everything possible to help the victim in justifying their actions. If the last few batches coming through are indicative, I can seriously believe it, TJ Hooker aside! It appears that everyone including the police are scared of touching anyone anymore.

Will just have to keep on trying to rough up the polished edges of new officers.

This post was initially done under the affluence of incahol and it shows, sorry.

Friday, 17 April 2009

Farewell to a colleague.

After all the controversy surrounding the Met over the last week or so it just goes to show that police work still continued.

My thoughts are with his family.

Thursday, 16 April 2009


Erm, just looked at my hit counter and see that it has now passed 5000. How, who and finally why? I know that Inspectorgadget probably has 5000 hits a day if not more but I am actually a little confused by the number on my blog. Who is reading my dross? I have just checked with the hit counter I have and apparently they are all individual clicks, I tested it by refreshing my own page and the number didn't change.

Thanks to all and will get better with practice (I hope).

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Without Honour by Robb WJ Ellis

In the last week or so I have had the pleasure of communicating with a truly fascinating individual named above. He is also responsible for the new look header on the blog and yes the bent car is a result of one of my pursuits recounted in an earlier post.

I would not normally be political in my posts but after reading this I couldn't help but think about the book that Robb kindly e-mailed me. He tells about the change in power in Rhodesia when it became Zimbabwe. He joined the Zimbabwe Republic Police shortly after and the book tells of his few turbulent years that followed. He succeeded operationally, you can't make these sort of stories up without having been there, also about how his development was suddenly brought to a halt. This was due to him being one of the few remaining white police officers in the new regime.

People fear that the UK is becoming a police state, oh you bloody fools if only you knew how wrong you are. The work of a police officer is stalled at almost every point once the arrest has been made. You have to get the subjects detention authorised when booking them in. Their welfare has to be addressed and heaven forbid one of them says that they feel depressed, result a police officer sitting on a chair outside their cell watching that they don't harm or hurt themselves, one less officer on the streets. There then comes the interview and dependant upon the outcome of that the resultant CPS "advice". This it seems is the major stumbling block, the evidence presented against the individual is questioned to the 'nth degree. During interview the accused states that he was with his mate (who he won't name) and he can provide him with an alibi. CPS then defer charging the individual until all possible attempts to trace the alibi have been made. Check all CCTV around the area, private and commercial, to try and identify the offender's mate. The end result is either NFA because it is the word of the officer and the aggrieved against a possible spanner thrown into the works at court. Remember it costs money to stage a trial. The list of obstacles goes on.

People want a return to years gone by. That will never happen. I can categorically state this without fear of contradiction. In those days people were arrested and charged and put before the court. This will never happen again. In those days the law was a black art and people respected the police. There may have been a few miscarriages of justice and yes a few people may have been executed in error but society was apparently better. I don't know I wasn't there. People yearn to have those days back but they don't really. They complain that the police are never there when they phone up about kids playing football in the street and it annoys them. They have forgotten that they used to play football in the street too They won't go and tell the kids to go away for fear of being verbally or physically abused. They can however rest assured that every ones human rights are protected These same people are always the ones that can't believe the miscarriages of justice that supposedly happen. How many people have jumped on the band wagon after the unfortunate turn of events following G20. Police brutality, murderers etc, etc you have all read the press. May Mr Tomlinson rest in peace, has he been checked out on PNC, was he so innocent as people believe? I don't know so how do the rest of society? At the end of the day, the state of society in Britain is due to it's society and government. People want everything but aren't willing to condone the measures necessary to get it. The laws ARE there to ensure that the country is run peacefully and offenders are brought to justice but the public don't like it. They feel oppressed and insubstantial when the law is enforced as per events in London. Would you walk slowly with your hands in your pockets if there was a dog snapping at your heels? I wouldn't. The people who complain about this will also want the police at their door yesterday when they phone about youths causing annoyance. You can't have both, the softly softly approach and a robust one to what suits you.

Will get the point over in the end...stick with me.

To include the title of this post I would like people to imagine themselves in a situation where they had no human rights. The political masters had authorised measures that would cause even the most blood thirsty individual to pale. Rape, murder, savage beatings and genocide, the bounds of which know no ends. All sanctioned by the state in order to further their own goals. Sanctioned brutality and atrocities are common place even encouraged by government. The duty cops turn up and immediately recognises that the place is a massive crime scene. He has authorities in his territory which officers in the UK could only dream about. He is armed and basically patrols in an armoured vehicle. He too knows what is right and what is wrong and polices accordingly. His powers are granted by politicians and he works according to those powers. He doesn't commit the atrocities but frequently has to pick up the remnants that are left by the armed forces that have. Can you imagine in the UK a crime scene that is being preserved, the crime is one of mass murder but in very high temperatures that hasten the decomposition. The smell is unbelievable. 20 minute stints is all a body can bear. The human body recognises the smell of it's own dead and makes you ill when you smell it. Anyway, the officer is trying to preserve the scene when all of a sudden the military turn up. They have been responsible for the atrocity and have heard that their deeds have been uncovered. They too are a political tool as the police are in the new republic but more powerful by government decree. They proceed to eliminate any crime scene by setting fire to it, job done. Petrol is a great crime scene eliminator. The police are dismissed after arguing that this is wrong but a higher power is involved.

I know I have been rambling and have probably lost the thread but it should mean something. People call for politicians to take a greater part in policing. Police should be more accountable to government and more highly regulated. I don't think this is necessary. It is just one small step to become a politically motivated police service and one that is a minuscule jump towards a real police state. How would the populace relate to that?

The columnist states that the police should become governed by politicians. I for one don't agree, we are bound by PI's, Charters and other nonsense that doesn't equate to the job we do. If we were then to become a political tool then initially even more people would lose even more faith in the "service". As people lost faith, greater civil unrest would surely follow. Would this then pave the way for the government to utilise the police to the true extent of our abilities? Would atrocities then become the norm several years down the line aided and abetted by the military?

As it stands the police are governed by their own sense of what is right, politicians and the humans rights bill. I know what is right and wrong, it is not a grey area. Allow us to become a state controlled entity with a failing government and who knows what will occur? A government that will not fail? The military will be next then martial law. You don't even want to dream about that. I have done military service in countries where in effect martial law was declared. It wasn't great.

Please excuse the disjointed posting I have too many ideas trying to burst out in just one post.

Monday, 13 April 2009

Quick update

I am being a tutor con again and having to do all sorts of things really properly again. I am eternally grateful to vetnurse for her contacts and will do justice to her friend once I figure out how this new bloody laptop works and get used to Vista.

I have loads of ideas and will try to get my head round what I need to post soon, well tomorrow anyway. I have links and stuff that I need to mix together and make coherent sense of.

Speak properly tomorrow.


One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.'

Then, a Member of Parliament comes in for a haircut , and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the Members of Parliament.

Vote very carefully next year.

Wednesday, 8 April 2009


I have just had a look at my blog and even though it still squeaks when being read as it is so new, it needs a bit of wow, a bit of oomph and all that nonsense. Can someone please tell me how to make a go-faster stripe type banner for the top please. It may inspire me to write something that is worth reading.

Thank you so much. Any great ideas or sites please let me know at

Thanks again.

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Police go on trial

Is it just me or does anyone else feel that when you step into the box it is you that are on trial? I am not talking about when you are called as a witness to the case of assault regarding Wayne and Waynetta where you put in your statement that you could clearly see the bruising about her face. No I am talking about the jobs where it it trivial, offensive weapon, going equipped, section 5 etc. That is where it is your evidence and solely your evidence that is going to convict the defendant. Never mind how solid your evidence is I still (where I work) always get butterflies when one of these jobs gets to court. I know full well that I am going to get a grilling about even the most minor drunk and disorderly.

I don't know where the rot started to set in. I am a sworn Constable and as such have much to lose by lying. The defendant on the other hand has nothing to lose. A few examples, there is a sporting event going on and I happened to drive past a street where numerous cars where parked. Traffic was slow and I saw a male in a tracksuit walking along trying the doors of parked cars. I turned into the road and the subject saw me and started to run. There was nowhere he could go as it was a terraced street with alley gates and no side streets. GOTCHA, search him and it turns out he has a glass hammer and a blue handled screwdriver. Locked up for going equipped. A few months later in court and I am in the box facing the defence solicitor. He states that his client was merely checking that all the cars were secure and if he found one he was going to do his citizens duty and make sure that no-one took anything from the vehicle. A kind of self appointed guardian angel. The glass hammer and screwdriver, well they must surely have been planted by the officer to justify his arrest. The magistrates asked for the clerk to discount the glass hammer because it also has the seat belt cutter on it so the individual could have been carrying it just in case he witnessed a car crash! The screwdriver was on it's way into fantasy land as well when I protested. The defence then tried to then discredit the fact I even found it on him at all stating something along the lines that I had stopped him purely because of his attire. When pointed out to him that I could stop half of Notgreatside in that case purely due to their attire he then started to suggest that the screwdriver was a figment of my imagination despite it being in a tube with a crime exhibit label on it. It was later classed as a red herring, at that point I asked whether I could approach the bench. They looked shocked but agreed. I then picked up the tube and said, your worships, does this look like a red herring to you? In my mind it is definitely a blue handled screwdriver. They fidgeted quietly whilst I stood there with the tube in my hand and thanked me. The clerk smiled and offered no advice to the confused ones. One of them actually cleared her throat and asked me if it was the same tool I had seen the defendant use. I told them that I had not seen him use it but he had it on his person after being seen trying car doors. I resisted the urge to scream at them to listen to what had been said and stop arsing about. Again they thanked me and looked desperately at the clerk of the court, she smiled at me and asked me to return to the stand. A brief huddled mutter and the defence was asked if he had any further questions, he had a couple one of which included me reciting the caution?

Anyway the scrote was found guilty of vehicle interference and got a minor slap on the wrist, wow that was worth it!

How about the 15 year old stopped because he looked too young to be drinking the can of Stella he had. Turn out your pockets lad. Out comes the phone, about £90, the inevitable packet of long Rizzla and a lighter. Quick check of his pockets and oh, what's this? A Stanley knife (retractable) blunt but still able to inflict a nasty cut. Yes he was 16 not 15 and when asked about the knife couldn't provide the legitimate reason to have it.

Anyway off to court we go, he is a prolific offender and not suitable for diversion. The reason he has the knife? Just in case he learns of someone who needs assistance in fitting carpets. He can help and it my assist him in getting a job if he has his own tools. That's why he carries it around with him! I am not making this up. He never mentioned this in interview despite the bit about inferences when that caution is explained. End result guessed it not guilty. How the hell??????????

Oh toss, I give up. Not sure I can be bothered explaining the time when someone jumps on the bonnet of my car and shows me just what he feels about the police by peeing all over the windscreen. Locked up D+D, end result not guilty, the officer must have been making it up. How about the time when there was a large scaler outside a pub and someone deemed it appropriate to try and smash a bottle on my neck? This one didn't even reach court, the offender was deemed eligible for a fixed penalty for S.5 the next morning? I wasn't there when this took place so how? His friend who was also locked up for affray along with several others, subsequently complained and was found not guilty in court. He only had one lung and it was deemed impossible that he could cause problems with his medical condition. They didn't see him on the night!

Going to try and find a padded cell and bounce off the walls until I go to sleep. Maybe when I wake up reality will have returned.

Monday, 6 April 2009

The line has been crossed

This is just a short one.

Last night after a weekend of chaos I was sent at 11 pm to a job that made me angry from the minute I was asked to read log such and such. Suffice to say it involved young girl just in 2 figures and stepdad. It had spanned the space of 2 years and was staggeringly gross. I'm sure you are getting my drift. It is not the first instance of this I had come across but was certainly the worst.

Initial procedures done and all attempts and efforts to find the offender ensued. EVERY possible resource in our force and surrounding forces were used when other jobs allowed, the offender was by now aware that it had all come out. There were concerns for his safety, that he may try to do himself in now that his life had effectively been ruined. I personally didn't give a shit about him and his safety but if he takes the easy way out after all this without the issue being resolved, what is it going to do to the victim who at her tender age blames herself for what has happened? How she can blame herself for someone abusing his position of trust is hard to understand but it is often the case.

I'll be honest, I was in 2 minds. One part of me wanted so desperately to find him that in the space of 6 or so hours I drove over 230 miles checking all the secluded beauty spots and parking areas trying to find him and his car but with no success. Naive I know but on this occasion it was appropriate and fully approved by my boss. The other part of me didn't want to find him. It wanted someone else who hadn't had the time with the victim to find him. That way there would be no personal feelings other than knowing he was wanted for the offence. I would have acted properly but there would have been a cauldron of inappropriate feelings welling up inside me whilst dealing with him, but had he been aggressive or resistant............ you know.

I was still angry when I got home and despite all other problems Mrs CC listened and said nothing. It must be said that sleep and liquid refreshment has helped put the matter to rest now.


Friday, 3 April 2009


Never been classed as spam before.

How constructive prose can be classed as such beggars belief. This site has deemed me thus and only allowed persons who follow a certain belief to post. Ah well, they claim that free speech is no longer allowed and decry anyone who believes otherwise.

There are people there who have engaged in constructive argument but the administrator(s) say no.

Never mind eh.

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

It's started. What a surprise.

What a surprise. Despite the problems of only 5-6 weeks ago once again Police are not properly equipped to deal with "protesters". Peaceful protest is no problem in my book. People sitting down blocking a road etc. greeted with the phrase "is there anything I can reasonably say or do to get you to move?" End result they move, these animals deserve the full reclaim the streets order, no-one got the bollocks to do it with the world's press focused fully on London.

At least get them in the proper NATO helmets, yes they are uncomfortable and do make you sweat but at least this doesn't happen.

When will the stuff that is inevitable to the street officer become the same to commanders?

Still wish they had asked for more of our lot, unfortunately we blotted our copybook at the G8 and won't be asked back except in a tactical advisory or evidence gathering role. The PSU's were too rough for the protesters.