Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Why do I work again?

At this current moment in time I find myself shelving out huge sums of money to a solicitor to act on my behalf. (A civil matter not a criminal one by the way). Why?

If I changed uniform to a tracksuit or simply couldn't be bothered getting off Facebook or Bebo or whatever social network group that the state pays you money for Internet access, I would not have to pay such extortionate fees. Maybe I should get out of work and see where life takes me, perhaps not eh?

I see many such people who are "entitled" to free legal advice. Admittedly the system has been supposedly streamlined or "fast tracked" over the last few years but why do the life sucking dross that are the mainstay of many solicitors get it all for nothing?

I have worked solidly since I was 18. If I had remained in the RAF I would have retired on November 25th after 22 years service. Instead, I find myself with mounting legal costs and no easy way out.

Think into this what you will but a number of you will guess what it means.


Friday, 27 November 2009

Life's changes.

I am still here in the background.

There have been dramatic changes in my life which are not something to air on the public forum.

Business shall be resumed once I can drag myself out of the doldrums.


Friday, 4 September 2009

Oh my god!

For those of you that know me you will be aware that I have been going through an application process.

I found out today that after 5 months of selection processes I am unfortunatley suitable for the job.

I bloody well passed and am now looking forward to serious pastures new. Still a police officer but ............ providing I pass the course, not a real one anymore.

Thanks for all you messages of support.

Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Three weeks in.

The travesty of justice has officially been on the streets of Notgreatside for the last 3 weeks. I am a common or garden response officer and I have been out on the streets with a taser for that time.
It is a pain in the arse. Firstly they issued us with different belts to ensure that they couldn't be removed by offenders easily. Now depending on where I buy my clothes from I am either a 34 or 36 inch waist. I thought 36" just to be safe. Not sure who makes the belts but they obviously have different scales on their tape measures than the rest of us. Very last hole and that is a squeeze sometimes, no more fatty foods for me and no they can't issue me with another one yet as they have been specially ordered.
There is the rigmarole of being issued with a yellow piece of plastic and 3 cartridges, I handled firearms for 11 years whilst in the forces and am intimately familiar with load and unload drills and actually using weapons. I don't need someone who has never handled a weapon to tell me what to do. Weapon safety is drilled into me and has been since 1987. It is also a pain when you finish late not to have a duly "authorised" sergeant around to "unload" the taser, I have incurred overtime waiting to hand the bloody thing back!
It gets in the way when you get in the car, right where the seatbelt needs to go, just another piece of kit to fill my already full belt.

Does it work though........oh bloody hell yes. The scrotes notice it immediately, they are well used to the police and all the stuff normally carried. They pick up immediately on the bright yellow piece of plastic and not surprisingly ask "is that real". My stock answer is no it's a dummy just like you are for asking the question. I have only drawn it on one occassion and "red dotted" someone. It worked instantly stopping him in his tracks and avoiding yet another cocaine and alcohol fuelled fight which would have surely ensued. Incidentally, why do families always fight and argue at christenings, weddings etc?

In short and from an officer who is using one whilst not being part of a specialized team. It is a pain, more kit, procedure and writing. It has already in my experience stopped a situation dead in it's tracks and prevented a prolonged struggle. It is a deterrent and also a statement of purpose. It hasn't changed the way I work, my mouth is still my biggest tool and long may it remain so. What it does is provide another avenue of non-verbal communication which in my still limited experience has proved effective.

To all the people protesting against human rights issues what would you prefer? A subject who has momentarily been in fear of being tasered and calming down and not being injured or the police actually using force against him to achieve their aim and him suffering injuries. It is a double edged sword but it is helping in a small way to gain some sort of control in the area where I work.

I await the criticism.

Incidentally have completed all the stages for my application and am now on tenterhooks awaiting the outcome of the final interview.

Friday, 21 August 2009

Still here.

I am still here, thank you for your questions and concern but just seem to have bigger things on my mind at the mo'.


Friday, 31 July 2009

Winging it.

It is not often that I find myself stuck in a situation where there is apparently no resolution. I found myself in such a situation on Sunday.

A bit of history, I was called two weeks ago to an establishment that assists people who have conditions that require some counselling in order for themselves to determine their route in life. I attended the establishment after one of their residents made a really good effort of hanging himself. He pulled the cord from the rear of his television and somehow using the window nearly completed the job. Fortunately staff intervened and his attempt was foiled.
He was assessed by the duty crisis team and once the effects of alcohol had worn off they deemed his demeanour to not be one of someone likely to harm himself.
His background, well his father committed suicide approximately two years ago once the onset of his condition started taking over his life. My subject, let’s call him X is twenty something years old and has also been diagnosed with the condition. His sister also has the condition but she has come to terms with it.
His condition is Huntington’s disease. I had heard of it previously but didn’t know what it was. X has seen his father deteriorate and take his own life. He knows the symptoms and the end result. He doesn’t want to end up like his dad but due to the hereditary nature of the disease he IS going to.
Anyway, Sunday, he receives a family visit which doesn’t go well. Following that he expresses his desire to end his life again and wants to go out. Staff have seen a pattern emerging in his behaviour. He talks about positive and negative things whilst sober, once he has had a drink he doesn’t talk but tries to take his own life. He has admitted that it is only after he has been drinking the suicide attempts start and last Sunday he wanted to go drinking. The staff don’t have the powers necessary to detain him but understandably they are doing everything they can not to let him go out. The situation escalates and the verbal arguments become verbal threats from X. The duty manager left with no options and fearing for the safety of X and his staff calls the police. He states that he wants the male detained under S.136.
A sceptical Constableconfused arrives and after a quick background from staff goes to speak to X. He finds X sitting in a chair smoking, very calm, very collected and talking a lot of sense. Definitely not a 136 case. He tells me all about his problems in a calm, controlled and informed matter and that he is a voluntary patient and as such wants to leave. When asked what his intentions are he tells me he is going to get drunk and try to kill himself for the reasons outlined above. His reasoning can’t be faulted; he is in control of himself and provides what is really quite a good reason for ending his life. He apologises to staff and to me for wasting our time but once again expresses his desire to leave and get drunk. I have no reason to detain him but now have a duty of care. If I let him walk and he does the deed how much poo will I be in. I manage to speak on the telephone to one of the CPN’s who last saw him on Friday and they state he is in no way mentally disturbed, confused about which life choice to take certainly but not in need of mental health care. He is starting to become irate now and once again offers violence if he is not allowed to leave. I then lock him up on the tenuous grounds of preventing a breach of the peace. That way he won’t be drinking anyway.
The trip to custody follows with me justifying the grounds for the arrest in my head all the way. I relate the circumstances to the custody sergeant who looks at me with some strange looks before authorising detention for a “BOP”. He knows me and my methods so will no doubt ask me for a full update once the “prisoner” goes for processing. I subsequently provide the full background to him and the Inspector who has now turned up and acknowledge that my arrest is probably unlawful but what else could I do? The Inspector sums it up nicely by saying yes it is unlawful and he may get paid a couple of thousand if he pursues the matter but I can’t be criticised for my actions. My actions I perceived were entirely in the best interests of X.
The next problem, how do we get out of this mess? He is clearly not a matter for the courts but also can’t languish in a cell for too long. The “home” is no longer interested stating that they will have no network available until 9 a.m. the next morning to progress this. It is just after 6 p.m. now so they are no help. In effect they have washed their hands of him for the night. I visit the crisis team in Notgreatside County Hospital who state that they are aware of X and believe that he will one day kill himself but he is undecided at the moment. Great help. I ask them for assistance but they say there is nothing they can do. Tick Tock goes the custody clock.
My mobile rings and it is custody stating that the male has been on the intercom apologising for his actions and asking if he can go back. He states that he is now at what he perceived to be rock bottom and sees the home as a much better option. He is seen by the FME and she spends over an hour talking with him. At the end she recommends he be released once she has a stern word with the home. This is duly done and X gets changed from his safety gown back into his normal clothes.
He is refused charge for the BOP and I take him back. On the way he is a different character, he has taken a shine to the doctor and asks which practice she is with. He talks about remaining in Notgreatside and resuming his college studies which were interrupted several years ago.
I drop him back at the home and hand him over to staff, as he entered he turned and looked at me nodding before jokingly (I hope) says “SAME TIME NEXT WEEK”? I drive away wondering what the hell has happened during the last few hours. My conclusion was that there are supposedly partner agencies everywhere that are there to assist during incidents such as these but at 6 p.m. on a Sunday night there really isn’t anyone. I winged it, playing it by ear. I was backed up by Sgt’s and the Inspector and also the FME. Between us we resolved a situation that we really had no part in but were the first to get called.
How many similar situations do you find yourselves in? The first port of call for many people even though we shouldn’t be.

By the way, did you know it is not an offence to commit suicide but if you try and fail, it then becomes one. Apparently!

Monday, 20 July 2009

Just for amusement.

Our lager, which art in barrels.
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk)
At home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head
and forgive us our spillage.
As we forgive those who spill against us.
Lead us not into incarceration but deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and forever

Just been sent this and it seemeed quite amusing as I have started rest days.


Sunday, 19 July 2009

Sergeant Simon.

I have never read any of Sgt Simon's postings and must regrettably say I have been lax.

I have just read his profile and thi sums it all up nicely I think. I really couldn't have worded it better.
A police sergeant on a response team in the outskirts of a major UK city. Response teams are the only people in the police who don’t have a remit, who have to deal with everything. We are the whipping boys and girls who work all hours with all sorts of targets and guidelines issued by office living senior management who, from my point of view, sometimes seem to have forgotten most of the realities of the 24hr response jockey. I work on the starfish principle in policing. For those who don’t know that story, its the boy walking on a beach where a storm tide has washed up thousands of starfish, which are slowly dying. As he walks, he picks up one starfish after another and throws it back to the water. A man sees this and asks why does he bother, as he could never make a difference to all the thousands stranded. The boy doesn’t break stride as he picks up another and throws it back. “It made a difference to that one”, he replied. Thats the way I work. I know I’ll never make a difference on a grand scale, but I’ll make a difference to an individual by doing each job properly each time it comes round, whether or not it complies with what I'm told I must do.

This sums it up nicely, a police officer who still has his own mind, long may we survive.

My social experiment from my last post has concluded and the positive outweighed the negative.


Thursday, 9 July 2009

The STD's of the blogging world.

I have heard that canestan, liberally applied along with a tablet if necessary, can take away all annoyances. I have done this regularly and now have a very smeared laptop screen which sometimes makes it illegible. The tablet has made my DVD drive now inoperable.

In spite of this some people just continue to cause an irritation, Now Metcounty has left one of his irritations appears to have latched onto me, direct quote:
Anonymous Pete said...

CUNTstable Stupid ... or whatever it is you call yourself, on a noe-to-one I would say that I would come away thinking that I have shit harder things than you.

You gutless wanker.

Thank you, he didn't even post it on a recent item, just kind of sneaked it in on one that no-one would be reading anymore.

Constructive criticism is always welcome and will be answered accordingly. However amateurish, boorish comments will be ridiculed, scoffed at and if they present spelling mistakes openly published to highlight what a dickhead the person is.

Thanks Pete, it took me a week or so to find this comment and when you challenged me to a noe-to-one (spelt as per comment) with you, I couldn't help but chuckle. By the way do you think you are the first to change my name to that? It is so well used it actually makes you look like one if you choose to look further than the end of your nose and read other blogs.

All in all Pete, thank you for a chuckle and I really can't wait for the next installment.

For those who doubt me check out comment 27 on the post highlighted.

Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Just to re-assure those who worry.

No picture, no grand speak or anything. If someone breaks into your house you can if necessary, do this no matter what human rights say. Here is another example if you don't believe me. The object that often causes problems is what is reasonable. These both were, and the outcome was positive.

All I can say is a good piece of "bobbying" from the officers who first attended. Well done and long may it continue!

Thursday, 25 June 2009

Still here.

Sorry for the lack of posting,

had other things to do and been a bit busy. Through the second round and got to learn how to do "jobspeak" now.

There will be more, I was mad in 2004 and diagnosed as so, can always go the same way again if I'm "outed".

Will post more when I can. Nothing to do with being afraid of posting by the way, it's a time factor thing.


Tuesday, 16 June 2009

For F$%c&s sake.

How much pain can someone c?ked of his tits take? About this much.

I am due Taser training in a couple of weeks if and if it goes wrong the subject will get Tasered, kicked, punched or whatever else is necessary to lock them up! I'm not hard, solid or anything and incidentally no, I didn't get bullied at school. If the Police tell you to stop doing something.......stop, we are a bigger gang than you and can carry toys which you can't, legitimately. I have used all options open to me over the years including breaking peoples bones and more than one KO. I'm not proud of that but I am proud to wear the uniform. I will continue to operate the same way if I stay on the streets and will make no apologies for that.

You may be reading about me on Sky news one day if it all ends up with the IPCC.

Sunday, 14 June 2009

Like a pig in ..........


sorry for being more than absent for a good while. Some may say good riddance and they would probably be right. I have actually had a rather splendid couple of weeks. Following the nightmare application scenario bizarrely enough I actually passed the first stage. (No-one more surprised than me)! Thank you BG for your positive e-mails, not just you but SC ,BE ,VN and Mr HD , this is just to name a few. You really have been supportive and positive even when I haven't been. Thank you.

Anyway you all know or have guessed what I am looking to progress/regress to and who knows what will happen? The next 5 stages depend on me, not just random persons deciding.

The last 2 weeks I have not been on response I have been attached to a unit that does nothing but enforce vehicle crime. I have for the first time had live access to ANPR and dealt with nothing except Road Traffic Act offenders and vehicle crime matters. I haven't worked a night shift, I haven't generated any crime reports but what I have done is take 20 or so cars off the road from uninsured/unlicensed drivers. Yes, I have also dealt with more than a few motorists who have been on their mobile despite there being a big f-off marked up Vectra alongside/behind/at the junction whilst they were doing it. If they dropped the phone they got a warning if they carried on......well it says a lot about how much attention you can pay to the road and chat on your mobile doesn't it. It does cause a lack of concentration.

Other than that not really got a lot to tell you other than my stress levels and blood pressure are at the lowest point that I can remember them being for the last 9 years. Ahhhh, that is until I remembered that response calls again on Thursday, really........really,..... honest, sort it's all bollocks, here we go again!

Please let me pass. Had a taste of the other side and don't want to go back!

Saturday, 30 May 2009

Was it worth bothering?

This quote is taken from the bloody application form that took me about 3 weeks to complete and evidence properly. The problem was my yearly development review has for the last few years been just enough to show that I was competent. To use it as a means to assist an application took considerably longer.

The quote reads:
" We are committed to the employment of people with disabilities and from ethnic minorities. There is a policy of guaranteed shortlisting of those applicants."

I am not disabled and am white British as well as being heterosexual.

Wonder if I will make it to the shortlist.

Friday, 29 May 2009

Totally Random.

Well it is no longer in my hands.

The dreaded application form has finally been submitted. What happens next is no longer up to me.

On a much much lighter note I saw this and couldn't help but you know,,,, respect. What dedication.

Random post I know but thought it worthy. (Yes I'm a muppet). As so many of the comments on the original article say the love of a mother. Where in society did we all go poo?

Sunday, 24 May 2009

What have we become?

I have read, re-read and then checked again this and after looking once again through the extensive online library that is available on WW 2, I wonder how we, in today's society, ever get away with complaining that life is too stressful. I have visited the Normandy beaches, been to Dachau and also in my own small way been in a war zone. Admittedly it was the first Gulf War and the pilots and nav's were the ones who were up there taking casualties but when the air raid siren goes and the Patriot batteries suddenly let go, the sphincter goes snap. "Be in time, mask in nine" was a phrase drilled into us during basic training. My respirator must have been smoking when I finally got in on, approximately 2 seconds in my eyes but probably about 9 in all honesty. It was only afterwards that we learnt it was a Scud 2 still in it's booster phase on it's way to Israel, luckily as so many of them were it was a dud.

Anyway, back to the point of this, someone I work with has gone off with stress. Fair enough, he/she is 24 living alone, got no financial worries and still lives with his/her parents. He/she has contacted a solicitor in relation to taking legal action against the job for imposing excessive work requirements upon him/her. He/she has to respond to incidents utilising the driving training that he/she has received, he/she then has to deal with the "victims" and on top of all that he/she then has to deal with crime reports that he/she has generated or have been allocated to him/her.

I will admit to having been ill with stress 5 years ago, a prolonged 11 hours with a very smelly sudden death that had seen the partner wrap tea towels and all other forms of material around the badly DE-composed body. It was instantly treated as suspicious and was a scene. I had a world of personal poo going on at the time, debt, personal problems and that incident was the straw that broke the camel's back. I was ashamed to admit that something was wrong but after several weeks of not being able to eat I had to face facts. Something wasn't right. I was eventually "fixed" after a couple of months and released on the public again.

The point of all this is to ask what sort of pathetic society have we become? I have watched, read and listened to numerous accounts of D-Day and wonder if the worst ever happened again could those monumental events ever be repeated? In my heart of hearts I don't think so. Look at my feeble excuses for going a bit odd, the numerous claims for injuries from little traffic shunts and the other similar stories. I no longer believe that we live in Great Britain anymore. What we now reside in is a festering corrupt and self centred society that doesn't give a shit about anything that occurs beyond the end of our garden path. I remember the silver jubilee and the street parties, did we have the same with the golden jubilee? No political correctness.....oh stop it, must go now.


Monday, 18 May 2009

Application forms.

As you are aware from my previous posts and I apologise to non-police readers, I am currently doing an application to get away from the dross I have dealt with for the last 9 years.

Is completing the application itself a part of the selection process? I sometimes wonder why I haven't applied previously for vacancies and now am reminded why. The bloody application form. Firstly and the least trivial it is to be typed in Arial font 11, ok I can do that. They then give you 8 areas that you need to focus on and evidence. For my part these areas are:

1.Respect for race and diversity.
3.Community and customer focus.
4.Planning and organisation.
5.Personal responsibility.
6.Problem solving.
7.Effective communication.

This is the stuff I do everyday and never feel the need to big it up by telling everyone and his dog about it by putting it on a piece of paper and getting it signed by 3 people.

They then leave you to get on with it after providing something called a Job Description Questionnaire and an Integrated Competency Framework. They also usefully provide you with an aide to assist you in your application which basically tells you if you haven't got the skills don't apply. Incidentally the box on the page allows you approximately 700 words in the required font. That is not a lot.

The evidence to support your application must be contained with your E-PDR (Electronic-Personal Development Review) but that only went live from the 1st January 2009. Prior to that you got pieces of paper from people saying that you had done a good job etc. which you could add into your PDP (Personal Development Portfolio). This was a tangible document which was forwarded with your application. I used to get all these bits of paper, put them in my drop file and at the PDP time just get a big hole punch and stick them in it. A quick session on the computer for my PDP 1(?) and job done for another year. I was officially competent! Hooray.

I have a good number of pieces of paper I have acquired over the last 12 months which I now wish to use in my application. In order to do so I have to enter them as a PDP(S) and then scan them on. I also have to then do a PDP5 to evidence the information that is contained in the PDP(S) and e-mail it to about 6 people to get them to sign it off as real evidence. I feel a bit of a rant starting. Going for a cigarette outside.

Aahh, that's better.

Anyway this application has proved to be the biggest BA I have ever dealt with. Send me to worst hate crime you could ever imagine or worse but please don't allow me to ever fill in one of these bloody applications again.

Must go and type some more self aggrandising stuff again. I wouldn't mind, I'm not going for promotion or even trying to leave the country!

Oliver Cromwell 2009

When Cromwell did his thing to the Rump parliament he was leaving them in no doubt about their position, they were no longer acting in the interest of the country. His speech was:

"It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place which you have dishonored by your contempt of all virtue and defiled by your every vice.

"Ye are a pack of mercenary wretches and like ESAU sell your country for a mess of pottage and like Judas betray your God for a few pieces of money.

"Is there a single virtue now remaining amongst you? Is there one vice you do not possess?

"Ye have no more religion than my horse. Gold is your God.

"Which of you has not bartered your conscience with bribes?

"Is there a man amongst you that has the least care for the good of the commonwealth?

"Ye furdid prostitutes have you not defiled this sacred place and turned the Lord's temple into a den of thieves by your immoral principles and wicked practices?

"Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation.

"You were deputed here to get grievances redressed; are not yourselves become the greatest grievance?

"Your country therefore calls upon me to to cleanse the Augean stable by putting a final period to your iniquitous proceedings in this house and which by God's help and the strength he has given me I am now come to do.

"I command ye therefore upon the peril of your lives to depart immediately out of this place...

"Go and get out, make haste ye venal slaves be gone - so take away that shining bauble there and lock up the doors".

Does that sound vaguely familiar in this current climate? Any offers for someone to be a 2009 Cromwell without the dictatorial aspect?

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

I am not too bright.

Please excuse the last post, it was done without proper referencing and now I feel a right Woppa.

Anyway, back to bloody application and how do I now evidence planning and organisation?

Friday, 8 May 2009

Busy few weeks.

I may not be able to post for a couple of weeks but all is well.

The copious amounts of typing, re-typing and further re-re typing of my application will I'm afraid, take priority.

It's pretty life changing and if successful won't be the lowest of the low anymore, probably the highest of the low. Work it out if you wish to. Will still be a Constable and still confused, just in a different role.

Anyway, unless anything particularly noteworthy comes along you won't be hearing from me. Depending on your point of view this may be viewed as either a positive or negative. Will still be adding my inane comments though.


Tuesday, 5 May 2009

Health and Safety gone mad.

I will firstly apologise for the length of the link that is attached.

Yesterday I was physically fighting with a 6'8 body builder who had been causing problems at a local mental health ward where he was a voluntary patient. He is an asylum seeker from the Congo who has had his application refused however due to his current state of mind he is deemed as not fit to be returned to his country. He was given the option of a so called detention centre or "voluntary" admission to a psychiatric unit. He has been a handful whilst there but the balance was tipped yesterday when he started assaulting staff and other residents with chairs and whatever else he could find. It was a bit of a mess and really touch and go when we arrived. After about 20 minutes of fast talking and agreeing with him he was coming with us. Where else are we going to take him?

He was initially calm whilst booking him in to be assessed by the crisis team, this chap was not suitable for detention at a hospital as he was already supposedly under the care of a mental health team. Anyway his antics start as soon as his handcuffs are removed. He is looking for a weapon and tries to pick up a computer monitor to throw but thankfully they are screwed down. It takes 3 of us to merely get the handcuffs (x2) applied to the rear to control his arms. He is taken straight to a cell where due to his behaviour he is to wear a safety gown for his own protection. Can't have him hurting himself can we?

I won't go into all the details but he was very strong and in the end it took 6 of us to be able to remove his clothing and perform a safe cell exit tactic. This may sound excessive but his strength, his frame of mind and the fact that we were all tired after 45 minutes of struggling with this chap. Anyway later in the day he was sectioned by the crisis team and is now receiving the care he needs. I hope he can now improve enough to go back to his family at home. That is not sarcastic, that is what he was telling us during the struggle about how he wants to go home as well as that today, he will die in order to keep his shirt on.

There were quite a few of us with bumps, bruises and various other marks that were the result of the struggle. The custody Sergeant duly noted every injury on the custody record.

Today I walked into work and opened my e-mails. There was a not so polite bollicking from the Chief Inspector of custody berating me along with the other 5 officers for not exercising due regard for the health and safety implications of our actions which resulted in our injuries minor though they were. I promptly e-mailed him back and asked him to review the in cell footage and tell me how he would have dealt with it. As a result apparently I am going to give him a damn good listening to in a week or so as he is a day worker and I am a shift worker. That is the first time our "shifts" will coincide. What a joke.

I am not a fan of his due to previous associations but can't help but agree with this Chief Con who wrote about this H&S nonsense in 2007, here is the link.

Sensibilities from a senior officer? Surely not.

Thursday, 30 April 2009

The new broom.

Here we are again, the dump that is classed as ECHO 2/3 in my area has just got a new Chief Inspector. Fair does, following my last post he actually came on parade with us. I now know who my Chief Inspector is. I feel so relieved. He assured us that he was operational through and through and was not just filling his portfolio for his next promotion. Fair enough I thought, give him a chance BUT then the government inspired drivel couldn't help but come out. Compliance with victim......blueprint.....pledge etc all blurted out and it all went wrong. He lost all credibility. He asked who was a driver, looked at the states and said he was going to go on patrol with Con 9999. The officer in question was suitably underwhelmed.

Guess what, despite his promises he didn't go out. He has only been here a week and in all fairness has been on parade with all 5 blocks. He is vocal, dismissive and very self righteous. All I know is that I was begging and stealing from other areas to get cars to go out in. We do tend to break ours around here! Well we don't the offenders do. Come 5 PM he was out the door and did actually say hello to me. I then stopped him on the ramp to the car park and asked him lots. I said I wouldn't embarrass him in front of the block but asked him what he was going to do to change things. There is so much that needs changing and here was his chance to do it.
I am 39 coming on 40 and he is only a few years older than me. He then said that he couldn't do my job nor could most people above the rank of Sergeant. He also stated that despite response being the shitty end of the stick we were the general view of the police that most people held.

In light of my last post I felt somewhat justified in doing it. It however nailed just another another nail in the coffin of my belief that we are not even considered in the depths of the "Policing Pledge" we will just always be there to be abused by cancelled rest days and various other events that need arsing about.

I do report with not a little excitement that I do have several irons in the fire and come the end of May, I will have some respite. The longer term requires lots of typing.

Monday, 27 April 2009


I sit at home and sometimes, you can’t help it, ponder the events of the day.

I frequently attend incidents where the “bigger picture” has to be viewed. I am talking about scenes, prisoner watches at hospitals and the inevitable constant obs at police jails. All of these things are considered. I arrive at a job, there is clearly a scene and it needs to be preserved. If the offender is arrested it is worthwhile otherwise all you are recovering is frequently the blood of the “victim” (note adherence to the victim charter there). However there is a gut wrenching, sphincter snapping clap that echoes throughout Notgreatside at every occasion where somebody is even slightly hurt.Common sense does never prevail therefore and the echo of the sphincter results in a scene etc. How many rolls of scene tape we must go through actually scares me. Incidentally when a scene is taped off and there is an officer stood preventing people access how many people come up and ask if it OK for them to walk through it or just ignore it altogether? “Can I just walk through as I need to go to the offy?” Errm No! They still ask though. Would I put tape round that says “POLICE CRIME SCENE DO NOT ENTER” if it was ok to walk through?

Anyway after numerous stints of acting despite never even sitting the exam never mind passing it. I now find myself in the position of having supervision who have less time in than me or have been so far removed from front line policing they are a bloody liability! They have obviously read the books and passed the exam, they are still at the T/Sgt stage and still haven’t a clue about anything. One of them can’t work past x o’clock in the morning due to sleep problems. I sometimes struggle to sleep on nights but don’t complain, why is he a Sgt on a 24/7 response block? The other one, well, is generally never there due to courses but is quite effective when in work. In other words the burden frequently falls on my shoulders.

In my former life in the RAF I was promoted to the rank of Sgt and after passing what was called General Service Training courses on two occasions, four weeks in the classroom/field (one to Corporal then the next to Sgt) I actually learned how to lead/look after staff. Welfare, food, drink and toilet breaks are essential. They are not just to be accommodated when convenient. To the best of my knowledge I never had to order anyone to do a menial task, there was always a request and due to the fact I would also do the rubbish jobs when required my staff just did it. There were frequent instances where I had to just ask people to do jobs and they would. If my shift heard me say this or that needs doing NOW I wouldn’t have to order anyone they would just do it I would not do it unless necessary. End result the job got done and people had respect for the rank because:

a) you had earned it and got the t-shirt.

b) you treated them properly.

Moving on a decade or so and I find myself in another uniformed role which is supposedly disciplined.However there is a distinct lack of leadership. From a purely personal point of view being deposited at a crime scene at 23:00 and not being relieved until well past 07:00 is not acceptable. Never mind the weather or the availability of facilities this is clearly not right. (Haven't done that for years but still remember). I would even push it to possibly be a contravention of yooman rights but will stand corrected on that one. When I wear the mantle I always remember try to remember the fundamentals of it. While we lucky ones who get to whizz around in fast cars frequently never get a break it is significantly better than standing on a cold wet scene with nowhere to have a pee! Frequently in the full view of the press and numerous other members of the public. This ignominious role frequently falls to the junior officers on the block. I did it but thankfully with Sergeants who gave a toss. There was always a break for a brew and another one for your scoff. I try to follow their example. That was not that long ago, only 9 years. Those people have either moved on or retired. The sorry replacements are not up to the job or just don’t care. I know from my own experience that once a commitment is covered then the welfare of the staff doing it takes second place despite my urgings. On numerous occasions I have taken flasks of hot water and maxpax out to scenes etc when I have pointed out the requirement to my “superiors”. I wonder why so many student officers are leaving before their 2 years is up. These same people are scared of making decisions and as such will always take the “cover your arse” position instead of following the advice of an experienced officer or frequently, the position dictated by common sense. It really concerns me that these people are responsible for so much. It really isn’t hard to put yourself in the position of someone dying for a pee being surrounded by Sky Poos reporters and cameramen doing the “really need a pee/poo dance”. For heaven's sake one female student officer ended up in hospital with a severe kidney infection due to holding her bladder for 10 hours. Why can I see the basic needs and do my utmost to accomodate these whereas those with stripes can't. I point out with apologies that I.G. and other supervisors who post probably do give a stuff which is why their staff get on with the job. These people obviously have common sense whereas a lot of supervisors just complete the advisory staff management course, take no notice of it and get on with their next promotion. How that differs from my man management training.

I could go on for ever pointing out the failings of supervision, the lack of balls oops, courage for the diverse, the futile allocation of insolvable crime reports, the basic requirements of staff as highlighted above and above all else the absence of leadership. This goes beyond immediate supervisors right to the top echelons of “management”. When will the government realise that the police is not a business and does not need managers, what it needs are some leaders who will enforce the laws and policies that direct their staff and not worry about this. Perhaps that way we can just get on with the job whilst still being held accountable, and not be the excuse for the political clusterfucks that we are now.

This post comes from despair about what we are becoming and also from hearing the results about who has passed the OSPRE exam and who hasn't. 22 year old just, and he has passed? How is he going to lead?

I haven't got the spare time at home to study at the moment hence the reason I am not one of the happy or sad candidates.

Friday, 24 April 2009


This was meant to be a comment on WPC Bloggs blog but it developed. It was meant to be a reply to MTG.

I don't normally counter his comments but on this occasion he riled me. I am not nor ever will be your servant. I swore an oath to the Queen upon my appointment, she is the only person who I am sworn to serve. Please read the oath of attestation if you don't believe me.

The nonsense about me being a servant to the public is a fallacy contrived by successive parliaments to try to appease society. If I am the servant of the people how do I then become able to arrest people who abuse/assault me when there are no other persons around? Who am I serving then? I am a servant of the Queen.

Please don't get me wrong if someone needs help from me I will do my best to do that. Not because I am a servant to the people but it is my sworn duty to do so, a role which I still choose to do.
I thought I would never mention it again but G20 has aroused all sorts of nonsense that has people believing the spin, claiming brutality etc, etc, you know what I am talking about as will other readers. Please get over it, officers (who were acting in accordance with the oath they swore) will suffer the consequences (heaven help them in this day and age), nothing else will change in practice. Lip service will be paid to whatever nonsense that is changed and the rest of us will continue to do the job we know how to do. They were fulfilling their oath, the peace clearly wasn’t being kept. Government may have changed but the principles haven’t.

Just out of interest, non police who comment frequently, if I were to hand you my equipment and a stuffed bag full of forms. Included in this package would be the keys to a powerful car that you would be expected to cut your way through traffic in order to serve your oath to the Queen to assist someone who has dialled 999. All the time you would be constantly receiving updates as well as trying not to crash. Your adrenaline would be flowing from the auditory inputs coupled with the hazards you encounter on the road. The end result, you arrive at the job with all senses sharply charged and keenly attuned. Once there you either: fight, stop people from fighting or decide that the 78 year old male/female who has just had some scrote burst into their house and really needs some sort of reassurance which is willingly given and beyond. Of course there is the other 90% of calls from the socially disfunctional who know that they get their wages every other Thursday and fight in between. Could you differentiate what is real or not? Before you criticize could you do it? Thought not.

This would be the same psychological state that the officers in London would be under, a pushing, abusive and potentially violent crowd. You only have to see one of the videos of a serial of officers being crowded against a wall by an overwhelming mass of people. Is striking a few of them to regain the streets wrong? I will leave it up to you to decide.

This is not a personal attack on anyone but merely a grounded response to people who will openly criticize without the full understanding. I have never to the best of my knowledge acted impartially or unfairly to anyone. I do have opinions and views, I am only human BUT they never get in the way with work.

People stop thinking that we are your servants, we will willingly help you but we can also be your scourge. Government don’t like the scourge side but where I work if you need robust policing you will be at the end of it, no excuses from me. This is widely appreciated from the unspoken majority of my area and no doubt the effect is countrywide. Though I can’t speak with any authority on this.

The end of this post is merely to highlight that we are all human. We are all affected by emotions and situations and react accordingly. The only difference is police officers do know when to stop where as a portion of the public don’t, you never saw an officer going back to give a farewell kick, push, baton strike or stamp to any of the protesters and by the way we do get frightened as well at times, we are only human. Self preservation still exists in us.. I have been inundated with e-mails showing alleged police brutality at the dreaded events in London. What I have seen from my point of view is officers dealing with situations as they seem appropriate, no-one else knows the thought processes going through these officer’s heads. They would have been considered but apparently aren’t acceptable. Read earlier about adrenaline and auditory inputs, oh not forgetting a non-compliant mass of people in front of you.

Anyway I shall never mention London events again and hope that all police bloggers will do the same. In all effects the arse has been kicked out of it and it is now boring.

Dr Melvin T Gray I do not wish to offend you and this is not a personal attack on you, oh my eight year old has just showed me a top hat she made from silly foam, must go and be a dad again.

Revolt in the ranks.

Apparently PC Plum is leaving the much loved Balamory.

I have yet to have this confirmed immediately but the rumour is that PC Plum is about to leave Balamory in order to further his career. I have heard that he has applied for a wildlife officers post in the Western Isles.

My first thought was Noddy as he is already well versed in the law that does not involve PACE. I searched the interweb but could find no vacancies for Balamory Police.

My research was highlighted to the afternoon shift that was shortly about to go off duty as well as my shift that started nights yesterday at 21:00 hours.

The end result was there were approximately 15 reports through supervision expressing interest in the soon to be vacated role. Mine was included and though it would tear my heart to leave Notgreatside if Plummy's role became available, I would snap it up.

Not too sure how I would feel patrolling the area on my bike without my baton, he never seems to wear one but he is obviously very comfortable in his own abilities. I'm sure Archie could invent a non- threatening one that would only become apparent when the situation developed. Maybe when Josie Jump decided to jump on Miss Hoolie's head for never changing her clothes, or does my current location see the worst in people.

Anyway if I am successful I am sure that I will be happy following my new training in identifying flowers and birds, oh and having to deal with lost people and hedgehogs. I look forward to going round this island more than once or twice.

Pinkstone eat your heart out if I get it!

Thursday, 23 April 2009

A future bank holiday?

No probably not. Despite today being St Georges day it will be another tradition frowned upon in our multi-cultural society. It used to be the stiff upper lip that didn't recognise it, these days it's the quivering sphincter of political correctness that prevents it.

Oh well never mind, just hope I don't upset anyone with this post, if I do there is a little red cross in the top right side of your screen. Click on it and it will seem like it never happened.


Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Ranting again!

More ranting,

bandwagon and jumping and stuff!

Fed up, with it all and wish that .........oh I can't tell you as I will then be deemed as not being politically correct. For Fucks sake, when people want robust action it isn't forthcoming due to yooman rights and stuff.

When robust stuff is required all of a sudden the musical feature is wheeled out.

Did you know managers in Mcdonalds get about £25 K a year.

Again, no picture can't be arsed, does anyone know the recruitment number for maccy d's. Too much politics in my job now, gonna get even worse soon. Ah well off to bed, only finished an hour and a half late today.

Just clicked further on the Sky poos website and I am frankly at a loss for words.............except fuck the lot of them. Don't get in a heated situation if you don't like fire.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Now the potential for even more nonsense.

My apologies for the link firstly, Sky have changed the headline since I posted this.

I was not at G20, I am not currently under investigation (that I know of) and do feel for the family of Ian Tomlinson who unexpectedly died during the protests. I also feel for the officers under "investigation" by the press and the IPCC at this time. I hope I never fall foul but in this day and age it is all too easy.

I do however feel quite strongly about THIS

Get out, keep your ill informed noses out and leave the INDEPENDENT Police Complaints Commission to do their job. You appointed them now get on with it. For readers who don't know, no-one in the IPCC has any affiliation to the police thereby unbiased and impartial supposedly dealing only in facts.

I don't normally swear but it's the fucking idiots in parliament who the populace have voted for over the years who have in effect screwed this country up. I went to the local newsagent on the way home. He is of Indian descent and has lived and worked in the UK for 35 years. He was reading a headline and asked me where the country was going to end up. I told him honestly that I didn't know. Society is ruined, we certainly don't need a bunch of tossers in Westminster attempting,in their ignorance to diagnose what went wrong. You did you knob heads, and your predecessors by allowing this once great country to degenerate into the melting pot it is now. Other countries deal with the Human Rights issue and still maintain Law and Order. What is it you thick,isolated numskull's can't get into your heads to allow this country to do the same?

Sorry for the rant, fed up of people who know nothing demanding everything. No picture this time, too annoyed.

Saturday, 18 April 2009


As mentioned before I am tutoring again. Bloody hell!

Here it all starts again, someone who apparently is "ready to go" and just needs pointing in the right direction then they will be "off". What a load of hoop.

I have been with him for just under 2 weeks and it is apparent that the new localised system of police training is woefully inadequate. I remember when I went through a joint training establishment in the North of England that it was disciplined, parade every morning at 08:30 and then more or less continuous lessons or PT until 17:00. There was lots of partying but overall it was bloody hard work.

Run forwards 9 years and I am now teaching people what I supposedly know. The trouble is I actually learned what the law meant. As mentioned before I spent 15 weeks solidly learning. Speaking to my new colleagues it appears that out of their 15 weeks they seem to spend most of their time waiting for another lesson. They are farmed off to various other elements of Notgreatside police in order for them to learn in the "field". I can categorically state that it doesn't work.

I got to know my latest and asked him what he did in his previous life. He told me his story and what he had done before police school. He had a good job and lost several thousands pounds of income by joining the police. He is absolutely keen as mustard and busily types car registrations into the mobile computer in order to stop cars that may have markers on them. I can't fault him in anyway whatsoever except......his knowledge of the law. It is rubbish! I am sure it isn't his fault but the systems.

We were directed by the overseeing eyes on the city to a car that apparently had a disqualified driver. We duly stop the car and speak to the driver, he gives a name different to the one that we are expecting. My fresh colleague asks if he has any ID on him and the answer is negative. Ah well he is free to go according to my colleague. No stop, says the grizzled one, have you checked him out on PNC. I knew he hadn't and so follows the check. The name comes back as not disqualified and no wanted/missing markers. I sense something is not right and question the subject further, I ask for marks and scars and they don't match. I ask my student to caution him and he has to get his notebook out and read it verbatim. Bloody hell the caution was drummed into us at school. The offence, obstructing a police officer in the lawful execution of his duty. He looks at me blankly. The subject then decides to run and goes for it. My protege racks his baton and throws it at his legs and ......misses. TJ Hooker would have been proud! Any way put out the foot pursuit over airwaves and am re-assured that there are units nearby who will be able to assist. We are running now and I am starting to flag after about half a mile the whippet is still going strong. Oh bugger must try harder thinks me and overtakes him (I was made up!) Go round a corner and see other officers there with CS drawn, I then do a rapid turn and stop. The offender raises his arms and tries to strike the 2 with CS and the end is inevitable. A cloud of spray on a hot afternoon settling on warm, moist skin. Thankfully not mine. My ward has come charging round the corner in full flight and not being wise has also been subject to a good dosing. The driver eventually admits to being the one who is disqualified and is arrested purportedly by my colleague who is too busy coughing and spewing on the ground (he did have his mouth open and took a burst straight in the gob). Suitable aftercare is administered to both the offender and my colleague and at the end of the day job done.

This encounter reminded me of several things. When I first took to the streets I was well aware of the law but actually knew nothing. I was forewarned of the evils of CS and how to avoid it. The caution can be used as a tool because many people hear it and instantly believe that they are under arrest, they then admit to offences because they have heard it on the Bill and think they are under arrest. Many won't but it is probably 50/50. Well probably 90/10 where I work but it is always worth a try.

Anyway where was I? Yes I vaguely remember talking about the woes of not having a proper training school and stuff. The students coming through are scared of laying hands on people and subsequently people get away with all sorts of stuff they shouldn't. You hear in the media of people getting arrested for protecting their own property. Whereas my generation will do everything possible to help the victim in justifying their actions. If the last few batches coming through are indicative, I can seriously believe it, TJ Hooker aside! It appears that everyone including the police are scared of touching anyone anymore.

Will just have to keep on trying to rough up the polished edges of new officers.

This post was initially done under the affluence of incahol and it shows, sorry.

Friday, 17 April 2009

Farewell to a colleague.

After all the controversy surrounding the Met over the last week or so it just goes to show that police work still continued.

My thoughts are with his family.

Thursday, 16 April 2009


Erm, just looked at my hit counter and see that it has now passed 5000. How, who and finally why? I know that Inspectorgadget probably has 5000 hits a day if not more but I am actually a little confused by the number on my blog. Who is reading my dross? I have just checked with the hit counter I have and apparently they are all individual clicks, I tested it by refreshing my own page and the number didn't change.

Thanks to all and will get better with practice (I hope).

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Without Honour by Robb WJ Ellis

In the last week or so I have had the pleasure of communicating with a truly fascinating individual named above. He is also responsible for the new look header on the blog and yes the bent car is a result of one of my pursuits recounted in an earlier post.

I would not normally be political in my posts but after reading this I couldn't help but think about the book that Robb kindly e-mailed me. He tells about the change in power in Rhodesia when it became Zimbabwe. He joined the Zimbabwe Republic Police shortly after and the book tells of his few turbulent years that followed. He succeeded operationally, you can't make these sort of stories up without having been there, also about how his development was suddenly brought to a halt. This was due to him being one of the few remaining white police officers in the new regime.

People fear that the UK is becoming a police state, oh you bloody fools if only you knew how wrong you are. The work of a police officer is stalled at almost every point once the arrest has been made. You have to get the subjects detention authorised when booking them in. Their welfare has to be addressed and heaven forbid one of them says that they feel depressed, result a police officer sitting on a chair outside their cell watching that they don't harm or hurt themselves, one less officer on the streets. There then comes the interview and dependant upon the outcome of that the resultant CPS "advice". This it seems is the major stumbling block, the evidence presented against the individual is questioned to the 'nth degree. During interview the accused states that he was with his mate (who he won't name) and he can provide him with an alibi. CPS then defer charging the individual until all possible attempts to trace the alibi have been made. Check all CCTV around the area, private and commercial, to try and identify the offender's mate. The end result is either NFA because it is the word of the officer and the aggrieved against a possible spanner thrown into the works at court. Remember it costs money to stage a trial. The list of obstacles goes on.

People want a return to years gone by. That will never happen. I can categorically state this without fear of contradiction. In those days people were arrested and charged and put before the court. This will never happen again. In those days the law was a black art and people respected the police. There may have been a few miscarriages of justice and yes a few people may have been executed in error but society was apparently better. I don't know I wasn't there. People yearn to have those days back but they don't really. They complain that the police are never there when they phone up about kids playing football in the street and it annoys them. They have forgotten that they used to play football in the street too They won't go and tell the kids to go away for fear of being verbally or physically abused. They can however rest assured that every ones human rights are protected These same people are always the ones that can't believe the miscarriages of justice that supposedly happen. How many people have jumped on the band wagon after the unfortunate turn of events following G20. Police brutality, murderers etc, etc you have all read the press. May Mr Tomlinson rest in peace, has he been checked out on PNC, was he so innocent as people believe? I don't know so how do the rest of society? At the end of the day, the state of society in Britain is due to it's society and government. People want everything but aren't willing to condone the measures necessary to get it. The laws ARE there to ensure that the country is run peacefully and offenders are brought to justice but the public don't like it. They feel oppressed and insubstantial when the law is enforced as per events in London. Would you walk slowly with your hands in your pockets if there was a dog snapping at your heels? I wouldn't. The people who complain about this will also want the police at their door yesterday when they phone about youths causing annoyance. You can't have both, the softly softly approach and a robust one to what suits you.

Will get the point over in the end...stick with me.

To include the title of this post I would like people to imagine themselves in a situation where they had no human rights. The political masters had authorised measures that would cause even the most blood thirsty individual to pale. Rape, murder, savage beatings and genocide, the bounds of which know no ends. All sanctioned by the state in order to further their own goals. Sanctioned brutality and atrocities are common place even encouraged by government. The duty cops turn up and immediately recognises that the place is a massive crime scene. He has authorities in his territory which officers in the UK could only dream about. He is armed and basically patrols in an armoured vehicle. He too knows what is right and what is wrong and polices accordingly. His powers are granted by politicians and he works according to those powers. He doesn't commit the atrocities but frequently has to pick up the remnants that are left by the armed forces that have. Can you imagine in the UK a crime scene that is being preserved, the crime is one of mass murder but in very high temperatures that hasten the decomposition. The smell is unbelievable. 20 minute stints is all a body can bear. The human body recognises the smell of it's own dead and makes you ill when you smell it. Anyway, the officer is trying to preserve the scene when all of a sudden the military turn up. They have been responsible for the atrocity and have heard that their deeds have been uncovered. They too are a political tool as the police are in the new republic but more powerful by government decree. They proceed to eliminate any crime scene by setting fire to it, job done. Petrol is a great crime scene eliminator. The police are dismissed after arguing that this is wrong but a higher power is involved.

I know I have been rambling and have probably lost the thread but it should mean something. People call for politicians to take a greater part in policing. Police should be more accountable to government and more highly regulated. I don't think this is necessary. It is just one small step to become a politically motivated police service and one that is a minuscule jump towards a real police state. How would the populace relate to that?

The columnist states that the police should become governed by politicians. I for one don't agree, we are bound by PI's, Charters and other nonsense that doesn't equate to the job we do. If we were then to become a political tool then initially even more people would lose even more faith in the "service". As people lost faith, greater civil unrest would surely follow. Would this then pave the way for the government to utilise the police to the true extent of our abilities? Would atrocities then become the norm several years down the line aided and abetted by the military?

As it stands the police are governed by their own sense of what is right, politicians and the humans rights bill. I know what is right and wrong, it is not a grey area. Allow us to become a state controlled entity with a failing government and who knows what will occur? A government that will not fail? The military will be next then martial law. You don't even want to dream about that. I have done military service in countries where in effect martial law was declared. It wasn't great.

Please excuse the disjointed posting I have too many ideas trying to burst out in just one post.

Monday, 13 April 2009

Quick update

I am being a tutor con again and having to do all sorts of things really properly again. I am eternally grateful to vetnurse for her contacts and will do justice to her friend once I figure out how this new bloody laptop works and get used to Vista.

I have loads of ideas and will try to get my head round what I need to post soon, well tomorrow anyway. I have links and stuff that I need to mix together and make coherent sense of.

Speak properly tomorrow.


One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.'

Then, a Member of Parliament comes in for a haircut , and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the Members of Parliament.

Vote very carefully next year.

Wednesday, 8 April 2009


I have just had a look at my blog and even though it still squeaks when being read as it is so new, it needs a bit of wow, a bit of oomph and all that nonsense. Can someone please tell me how to make a go-faster stripe type banner for the top please. It may inspire me to write something that is worth reading.

Thank you so much. Any great ideas or sites please let me know at

Thanks again.

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Police go on trial

Is it just me or does anyone else feel that when you step into the box it is you that are on trial? I am not talking about when you are called as a witness to the case of assault regarding Wayne and Waynetta where you put in your statement that you could clearly see the bruising about her face. No I am talking about the jobs where it it trivial, offensive weapon, going equipped, section 5 etc. That is where it is your evidence and solely your evidence that is going to convict the defendant. Never mind how solid your evidence is I still (where I work) always get butterflies when one of these jobs gets to court. I know full well that I am going to get a grilling about even the most minor drunk and disorderly.

I don't know where the rot started to set in. I am a sworn Constable and as such have much to lose by lying. The defendant on the other hand has nothing to lose. A few examples, there is a sporting event going on and I happened to drive past a street where numerous cars where parked. Traffic was slow and I saw a male in a tracksuit walking along trying the doors of parked cars. I turned into the road and the subject saw me and started to run. There was nowhere he could go as it was a terraced street with alley gates and no side streets. GOTCHA, search him and it turns out he has a glass hammer and a blue handled screwdriver. Locked up for going equipped. A few months later in court and I am in the box facing the defence solicitor. He states that his client was merely checking that all the cars were secure and if he found one he was going to do his citizens duty and make sure that no-one took anything from the vehicle. A kind of self appointed guardian angel. The glass hammer and screwdriver, well they must surely have been planted by the officer to justify his arrest. The magistrates asked for the clerk to discount the glass hammer because it also has the seat belt cutter on it so the individual could have been carrying it just in case he witnessed a car crash! The screwdriver was on it's way into fantasy land as well when I protested. The defence then tried to then discredit the fact I even found it on him at all stating something along the lines that I had stopped him purely because of his attire. When pointed out to him that I could stop half of Notgreatside in that case purely due to their attire he then started to suggest that the screwdriver was a figment of my imagination despite it being in a tube with a crime exhibit label on it. It was later classed as a red herring, at that point I asked whether I could approach the bench. They looked shocked but agreed. I then picked up the tube and said, your worships, does this look like a red herring to you? In my mind it is definitely a blue handled screwdriver. They fidgeted quietly whilst I stood there with the tube in my hand and thanked me. The clerk smiled and offered no advice to the confused ones. One of them actually cleared her throat and asked me if it was the same tool I had seen the defendant use. I told them that I had not seen him use it but he had it on his person after being seen trying car doors. I resisted the urge to scream at them to listen to what had been said and stop arsing about. Again they thanked me and looked desperately at the clerk of the court, she smiled at me and asked me to return to the stand. A brief huddled mutter and the defence was asked if he had any further questions, he had a couple one of which included me reciting the caution?

Anyway the scrote was found guilty of vehicle interference and got a minor slap on the wrist, wow that was worth it!

How about the 15 year old stopped because he looked too young to be drinking the can of Stella he had. Turn out your pockets lad. Out comes the phone, about £90, the inevitable packet of long Rizzla and a lighter. Quick check of his pockets and oh, what's this? A Stanley knife (retractable) blunt but still able to inflict a nasty cut. Yes he was 16 not 15 and when asked about the knife couldn't provide the legitimate reason to have it.

Anyway off to court we go, he is a prolific offender and not suitable for diversion. The reason he has the knife? Just in case he learns of someone who needs assistance in fitting carpets. He can help and it my assist him in getting a job if he has his own tools. That's why he carries it around with him! I am not making this up. He never mentioned this in interview despite the bit about inferences when that caution is explained. End result guessed it not guilty. How the hell??????????

Oh toss, I give up. Not sure I can be bothered explaining the time when someone jumps on the bonnet of my car and shows me just what he feels about the police by peeing all over the windscreen. Locked up D+D, end result not guilty, the officer must have been making it up. How about the time when there was a large scaler outside a pub and someone deemed it appropriate to try and smash a bottle on my neck? This one didn't even reach court, the offender was deemed eligible for a fixed penalty for S.5 the next morning? I wasn't there when this took place so how? His friend who was also locked up for affray along with several others, subsequently complained and was found not guilty in court. He only had one lung and it was deemed impossible that he could cause problems with his medical condition. They didn't see him on the night!

Going to try and find a padded cell and bounce off the walls until I go to sleep. Maybe when I wake up reality will have returned.

Monday, 6 April 2009

The line has been crossed

This is just a short one.

Last night after a weekend of chaos I was sent at 11 pm to a job that made me angry from the minute I was asked to read log such and such. Suffice to say it involved young girl just in 2 figures and stepdad. It had spanned the space of 2 years and was staggeringly gross. I'm sure you are getting my drift. It is not the first instance of this I had come across but was certainly the worst.

Initial procedures done and all attempts and efforts to find the offender ensued. EVERY possible resource in our force and surrounding forces were used when other jobs allowed, the offender was by now aware that it had all come out. There were concerns for his safety, that he may try to do himself in now that his life had effectively been ruined. I personally didn't give a shit about him and his safety but if he takes the easy way out after all this without the issue being resolved, what is it going to do to the victim who at her tender age blames herself for what has happened? How she can blame herself for someone abusing his position of trust is hard to understand but it is often the case.

I'll be honest, I was in 2 minds. One part of me wanted so desperately to find him that in the space of 6 or so hours I drove over 230 miles checking all the secluded beauty spots and parking areas trying to find him and his car but with no success. Naive I know but on this occasion it was appropriate and fully approved by my boss. The other part of me didn't want to find him. It wanted someone else who hadn't had the time with the victim to find him. That way there would be no personal feelings other than knowing he was wanted for the offence. I would have acted properly but there would have been a cauldron of inappropriate feelings welling up inside me whilst dealing with him, but had he been aggressive or resistant............ you know.

I was still angry when I got home and despite all other problems Mrs CC listened and said nothing. It must be said that sleep and liquid refreshment has helped put the matter to rest now.


Friday, 3 April 2009


Never been classed as spam before.

How constructive prose can be classed as such beggars belief. This site has deemed me thus and only allowed persons who follow a certain belief to post. Ah well, they claim that free speech is no longer allowed and decry anyone who believes otherwise.

There are people there who have engaged in constructive argument but the administrator(s) say no.

Never mind eh.

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

It's started. What a surprise.

What a surprise. Despite the problems of only 5-6 weeks ago once again Police are not properly equipped to deal with "protesters". Peaceful protest is no problem in my book. People sitting down blocking a road etc. greeted with the phrase "is there anything I can reasonably say or do to get you to move?" End result they move, these animals deserve the full reclaim the streets order, no-one got the bollocks to do it with the world's press focused fully on London.

At least get them in the proper NATO helmets, yes they are uncomfortable and do make you sweat but at least this doesn't happen.

When will the stuff that is inevitable to the street officer become the same to commanders?

Still wish they had asked for more of our lot, unfortunately we blotted our copybook at the G8 and won't be asked back except in a tactical advisory or evidence gathering role. The PSU's were too rough for the protesters.

Monday, 30 March 2009

The people we meet.

A couple of days ago I was sent to a "domestic" just after coming on duty at 07:00. I arrive and am greeted by a bedraggled older female who has smeared lipstick and the unmistakable make-up effect that comes from crying. The first words she says to me are something like I have had head problems since I was 19 and have been sectioned loads, I shrug my shoulders and then comes the clincher, I have taken 18 paracetamol tablets. Oh drat.....either way I am going to be spending sometime at the hospital with her. Her partner comes out and states that she has wrecked their flat and has been talking to herself for the last few days. She then starts telling me that she wants to die as her 27 year old daughter won't talk to her and there is nothing worth living for. I look at the odds, leave her there with a tissue. No, that won't do on this occasion. Lock her up breach of the hospital will soon be my home for a few hours as she has taken an overdose. I bite the bullet and tell her she is being detained under section 136 of the mental health act. She then thanks me and tells me that she has felt herself getting worse in her head but there is no way that she will voluntarily go to the doctor.
Off to Notgreatside County Hospital and do the deed. Oh well, my citizen focus/policing pledge/victim charter and all the other bollocks will go on hold today. She is unfortunately quite scantily clad (not good on this one) and starts asking me personal questions. According to her I am her best friend now. A colleague arrives to assist with toilet/fag breaks. She too soon becomes a best friend. She was initially volatile and obviously didn't like the medical staff, she was handcuffed whilst they examined her as she lashed out at them.
Eventually she calms down and after telling us what she has done to herself in the past and how bad life has become since she got divorced about 6 years ago and meeting her new partner. He is also a regular customer and I know from previous dealings that he is pure pondlife. It appears that there is some common ground. She remembers me from one incident where I attended their flat and actually had to fight him as he wasn't too keen on getting arrested for what was a borderline very serious assault on her.
In order to pass the time we stared talking about her previous life and even with the circumstances she was currently under, I believed her. She is 51, and appears quite educated. She was up to speed on political matters and current affairs. Her current lifestyle has taken it's toll but she was obviously once attractive. I ask her more about her daughter and she shows me a photo of an oriental looking beautiful young girl stood next to her at a family party, despite the features the resemblance is incredible.
In confidence she asks me if she can tell me her life story since her dad died when she was 17, how her mum couldn't look after all 6 kids and essentially kicked her out. The welfare system wasn't quite as geared up as it is today and she found herself homeless. She reverted to society's oldest profession and earned a living servicing the sailors at the docks. One sailor in particular was good to her and as the ship was undergoing repairs she ended up spending a lot of time with him on the ship. To quote her exact phrase she became a "ship's whore". The ship was registered in Malaysia and the crew mostly hailed from there. Eventually the ship left and so did she. She told me about captain's bribes to port officials, customs inspections and various other encounters she had whilst hiding on the ship with the full consent of the captain who she also serviced as part of her "fare". The hiding places she described were incredible but believable. She frequently re-assured me that this was all true as she knew she was going for an extended stay at a hospital and there was no way I would ever be able to prosecute her.
Eventually the ship docks in Malaysia and calm as you like she leaves the ship with her favourite sailor and disappears into society. She tells me about the good times and the bad she has there and produces a dated photo showing a younger version of her on some gorgeous beach along with an oriental male, she is clearly pregnant and looked happy.
Anyway moving on daughter is born and as you have to pay for medical services the fact that she shouldn't really have been in the country was never a problem. She went on to tell me that she found out she was allergic to prawns when eaten in vast quantities and also when a fish fin cuts your leg, all be it dead and through a bag, it can be poisonous and cause infection.
Eventually the bubble burst about 8 years ago when her brother died in a car crash. She was then faced with the problem of getting back to the UK. She had never owned a passport as she was effectively a stow away and had been an unseen member of society. She went to the British consulate and explained her circumstances. They were duly helpful and the only hiccup came with her 19 year old daughter who was subsequently made a British citizen in Malaysia.
When she returned for the funeral the rot started in her life. Circumstances effectively caused her to lose her mind. No money to return to her adopted home and nowhere to live. Her mum was still alive but in sheltered accommodation.
Anyway her life crumbled and 8 years later she was sitting in a chair in an assessment room at a hospital........ again. Her husband has since passed away following their divorce and his family want nothing to do with her after this length of time.
She was subsequently admitted to the care of a mental health unit and she appeared genuinely relieved.
I know that all this should be taken with a pinch of salt when her frame of mind is considered but for once I genuinely believed her. Her attention to detail was too much for her to make it up.
I know that the vast majority of people who are sectioned by the police are there through their own alcohol/drug induced problems but sometimes there are people there who have genuinely been dealt a shitty hand.

Friday, 27 March 2009


I have just read Twining's post and feel de-valued. I joined the Police as a Constable. I am white, heterosexual and apart from a few injuries not visibly disabled.

Why do we have to have the BPA, MPA, AWPO just to name a few.

Surely we are all out there to help the public and give the scrotes a hard time. I don't care if you are black,white, brown, pink or even a little bit cerise, just get on with the job and do what you are paid to do.

Shall we try to form an association of white, heterosexual, non disabled police officers or would we be prevented from doing so as it is incorrect? Anyway the initials aren't coherent or don't form a pleasing mnemonic.

We all should do the same job so why have the associations in the organisation? Positive discrimination perhaps?

Just get on with it those of you who have forgotten to be impartial and feel the need to segregate and highlight your particular creed. How can you treat the public impartially when you need to form/join an association that disassociates you from your colleagues.

In order not to appear racist I have colleagues on my block who originate from Somalia, Bangladesh and................. Scotland! They too are in despair of the Police "service" and the pandering to be politically correct.

I await being "moderated" by Google and readers without baited breath.

Sunday, 22 March 2009

We're all Donald Ducked.

First of all, apologies to Joey Smith. You have nothing whatsoever to do with this post. Thank you for your picture.

A couple of days ago I drove into and area that for a long time has had a dispersal notice in place. These only run normally for 3-6 months but in this instance it has run for over 12 months with a willing approval by the powers that be. IE magistrates, council and police etc.

There is a family there who have over the years caused numerous problems, one year I attended after there was a report of gunfire at about 3 PM on Christmas Day, AFO's attended due to the address and once it was deemed as safe we went in and the family were reluctant to explain why there were turkey particles embedded in the wall along with numerous shotgun pellets. There was no trace of a firearm after an exhaustive search and the matter was filed as intelligence purposes.

Anyway moving on there are 5 brothers who have in their time caused untold problems in the area. 2 of them are currently serving lengthy sentences due to drug or firearm offences the other 3, one is permanently off his tits on crack, the 2nd is just really thick and though a big lad satisfies himself with random acts of violence, but always cries when locked up. The 3rd is well nothing at all, he lives off the reputation and has not got the bollocks to follow his older bro's reputations. He even had a couple of legitimate businesses once that came to nothing, he was always too willing to cross the line between right and wrong. When you run a security firm on dodgy money you have to be careful. He isn't.

Anyway, as I was driving through the square a little boy who was holding the hand of his grandmother, the mother of all these delightful people waves at the police car so I wave back despite his company. She promptly shouts xxxx don't wave at them you should shoot them. I can't believe it, his school is probably teaching him one thing which is promptly forgotten when he arrives home.

Grannie subsequently issued with an £80 fixed penalty for public order and little boy was delighted to play with buttons which makes blue lights come on whilst the paperwork was briefly done.

What chance does he stand?